


Long Road to Home

by sunnyyellowhouse



Category: Nashville (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6976795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyyellowhouse/pseuds/sunnyyellowhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Juliette survives and she and Avery try to find their way back to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Juliette’s feet hit solid ground she swore she’d never fly again. The pilot had made an emergency landing in a cornfield and it was nothing short of a miracle that they had survived, all of them. She and Glenn stood together in the dim field, shaky and teary-eyed with relief and she didn’t know if he was holding her up or she was holding him. The moon gave a little light, enough for her to see the great nothing surrounding her. An empty field, big enough and wide enough and rather conveniently located. Her teeth chattered as she laughed a little and Glenn turned sharply to look at her. She shrugged, leaning a little more into his side. “It could have been worse, Glenn,” she said. “A lot worse.”

* * *

Their reunion did not go as planned. There were no flowers. Avery couldn’t even remember what had happened to them. He must have put them down somewhere but he had no idea when that could have happened. He didn’t remember much of anything outside of stark relief when he was told that Juliette’s plane had been found. She called and all he remembered of that conversation was how his heart clenched when he heard her smooth, husky voice saying she was on her way home. He left the airport and drove straight to her house, letting himself in by using the security code to the garage.  
“Your mama’s going to be home soon,” he said to Cadence as he lifted her out of her carrier. His eyes immediately filled with tears when he thought of how close he’d come to never being able to say that their daughter. He kissed the baby’s forehead and rubbed her back. “Mama will be here soon,” he said again. “And everything’s going to be okay.”  
Cadence was asleep in her crib by the time Juliette got home. Avery heard her at the door and yanked it open while she was still fumbling for her keys. They looked at each other for the briefest of seconds before he pulled her in his arms. One of them was trembling, he couldn’t tell which.  
“I’m never letting you go,” he said. “Never again.”

* * *

Neither one of them wanted to talk much. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and she wanted to be close to him. They slept on the couch as they had many times during their marriage, him squished against the pillows and her threatening to fall off the edge if not for his arm keeping her anchored.  
They had to deal with it the next morning when Cadence woke up demanding attention and Glenn and Emily called an impromptu team meeting.  
“You’re getting a lot of requests for interviews,” Glenn said over the speaker phone.  
“No, Glenn. I don’t want to talk to anybody,” Juliette said. She switched Cadence from one hip to the other. “I don’t want to do anything right now. I just need some time away from all of this.”  
“That’s understandable,” Emily's voice chirped from the phone. “You mean like a vacation?”  
“No, Em.” Juliette handed the baby off the Avery, watching as he strapped Cadence in her high chair for breakfast. “I don’t want to go to a beach or anything like that. I want…” she paused, searching for the right words, but couldn’t find them. She sat in a chair at the island and rubbed her forehead. No more, she thought. All she wanted was to be with Cadence. And she and Avery needed to have a very long talk that she was partially dreading. She didn’t have the energy to deal with anything else. “I just need a break.”  
Avery put his hand over hers and waited until she looked up at him. “I have an idea,” he said.

* * *

They drove. Avery picked Juliette up long before sunrise and she sat in the back with Cadence, who was outraged at having her sleep disrupted in such a way. Juliette sang her back to sleep and then climbed over the center console to sit in the passenger seat.  
“Haven’t done that in a while,” she said, reaching for the seat belt. “I’m not as nimble as I used to be.”  
Avery took his eyes off the road long enough to glance at her. “You did all right. You didn’t kick me, anyway.”  
She gave him a half-smile. “Are we still in Tennessee?”  
“Just crossed over into Kentucky a few minutes ago.”  
She nodded and then bit her lip. “Avery, do you think this is a good idea? Your parents probably really don’t want to see me.”  
“Juliette, it’s fine,” he said. “I spoke to them, they’re fine. And no one is going to look for you at your ex-in-laws’.” He’d been surprised at how quickly Juliette had agreed to go to Ohio with him. He’d surprised himself with the suggestion but after everything they’d been through, getting away from Nashville seemed like a great idea. He would have cancelled the whole thing if he thought his parents - well, if he thought his father was going to make her uncomfortable, but the only thing his father had said was that he’d be happy to spend time with his granddaughter again and Juliette was welcome.  
Juliette fiddled with the radio dial. “How much longer?”  
“Are you going to do that the entire trip? Because if so--”  
“No,” she interrupted with a laugh. “Just this once.”  
“Probably around seven hours.” He saw her nod out of the corner of his eye. She reached for the radio again and then sat back. She rolled her window down a ways and then rolled it back up. “What’s wrong?”  
“Seven hours is a long time.” She hesitated. “We could start this conversation we need to have while the baby’s sleeping.”  
“Juliette, I - why don’t we wait until…”  
“I just want to tell you I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out, especially not like that.”  
His hands tensed on the steering wheel as he thought of her teetering on the ledge of that balcony. “Were you ever going to tell me?”  
“No,” she said, her voice flat. “I hoped I’d never have to. I was ashamed of it. And sad that it took all of that to make me realize I needed help.”  
“I should have called you.”  
She shrugged. “Who’s to say that would have made any difference?”  
“I am,” he said, a bit louder than he’d intended to. He checked the rearview to make sure he hadn’t woke the baby. “I knew something was wrong and I didn’t do anything. If you would have…died, I would have never been able to forgive myself for not reaching out to you. And then Layla.” He shook his head. “I’ve been an idiot.”  
Juliette moved his right hand from the steering wheel and held it. “There was no way for you to know she was--”  
“Insane?”  
“Still grieving Jeff,” she said. “And I kind of get it. If you had died saving her I would have wanted the truth to be known. I would have wanted the world to know that you died doing something heroic.”  
He glanced at her quickly and then refocused on the road. “What happened with Jeff was an accident. She used me to get back at you when she knew you were sick. You would have never done what she did.”  
“No,” Juliette agreed. “I wouldn’t have. But I understand it. If the situation had been reversed and it had been you I’d have been devastated.”  
Avery squeezed her hand, trying to temper the rage he felt anytime he thought of Layla. Glenn had told him how she’d been the one to set up the pictures in the alleyway to drum up press. One more way that she’d used him that had nothing to do with Jeff or Juliette. He didn’t understand how she could be so twisted and he didn’t understand Juliette’s reaction. “How are you so calm about all of this with her? I thought you’d be more upset.”  
Juliette turned her head towards the passenger window and stared for so long he thought she wasn’t going to answer.  
“I lived,” she said simply. “In the past five months I’ve almost died twice. Once because of my own choice. But I’m still here. I got to sing my daughter to sleep just now. I get to hold her and kiss her and watch her blow out her first birthday candle.” She lifted his hand and kissed it as she had a few weeks ago. “I get to hold your hand and tell you I still love you. My career might be in shambles right now, but I’ve got my family. That’s everything I’ll ever need.”  
He had to agree with that, even though he knew they still had a lot to talk about. But they had miles ahead of them. They had time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know. Long time, right? I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to continue this story for a few reasons but we've got a few weeks until the premiere so I figured, why not? As always, reviews are cherished.

* * *

An hour later, Avery’s shoulders were stiff and he wanted to stop the conversation before it turned into an argument. “No, it’s - I agree that we need to talk but I don’t think we should just sit here and go down the list of all the things we did to hurt each other. How will that help do anything but make us feel guilty?”

“All right,” Juliette said. “We don’t have to talk about it.” She twisted around in her chair and dipped the wand back into a bottle of bubble solution, lifted it to her lips and blew, sending bubbles floating towards Cadence. Avery could hear the baby squirming in the seat and she started to whine. “Bubbles aren’t entertaining her anymore,” she said. “I think she needs a break.”

He glanced at Cadence in the rearview mirror. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, shushing the baby as she screwed the top back on the bottle.

They didn’t speak as he drove towards the next exit and he watched as Juliette slid on a pair of sunglasses and pulled on a black beanie. Her face was impassive but he knew she was as frustrated as he was. He wasn’t even sure how they’d gotten to that point. As soon as they started talking about everything that had gone wrong between them, the conversation had quickly gone awry and now they were both on edge. Fresh air and time spent out of the car might do all of them some good.

“Hungry?” He asked.

Juliette shrugged. “A little.” She looked back at their daughter, who had popped her pacifier in her mouth to soothe herself. “She probably is.”

He guided the car down the exit ramp and turned into a truck stop. “You want to change her diaper while I get the gas?”

“Sure.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door, sliding to the ground and shutting the door before he could say anything else. He waited until she had walked around to his side and gotten the baby out of her car seat before getting out himself.

Avery unscrewed the gas cap, watching her back as she rushed into the gas station with Cadence on her hip and the diaper bag slung over her shoulder. She ducked inside and he lost sight of her as she walked towards the restrooms. He hunched his shoulders against the wind, shoving one hand in his pocket as he pumped the gas with the other. The temperature had been dropping incrementally as they drove further north and he wished he had thought to pack a scarf. He’d just finished hanging the nozzle back up when his phone rang in his pocket, buzzing against his fingers. He pulled it out, expecting it to be his mother calling to check on their progress. It wasn’t.

Layla. Again. She’d been calling, incessantly, since the day he’d found out the truth, leaving messages and texts begging him to call her back. He hadn’t responded. He’d had nothing to say. Avery shook his head and his thumb hovered over the phone before he finally accepted the call. Nothing good could come from talking to her, but he had to put a stop to it. “I need you to stop calling me,” he said.

“Avery, please just listen to me.” She was crying; he could hear the tears in her voice. “I’m sorry that I lied to you, but I was so upset about Jeff that--”

“This wasn’t even about Jeff.” He interrupted. “You had months to try and get justice for him if that was really what you were after. You could have gone to Luke and demand he go public. But what did you do instead? Hire Glenn, get me as your producer, worm your way onto Luke’s tour.”

“Yes, Avery. I already told you this all started off wrong, but I really do care about you and Cadence. So much.”

“Stop saying that,” he spat. “Stop _lying_. How am I supposed to believe anything you say? If you cared about me or my daughter at all you wouldn’t have done this. I didn’t hurt you, Layla. Cadence didn’t hurt you. And what did you think was going to happen once I found out what happened? Did you think I would hate Juliette? That I would stop her from seeing her daughter?”

“I just wanted you to see who she really is. You thought she was taking responsibility for everything but she wasn’t.”

“She was sick and she was suicidal. She apologized to you, Layla. Or are you going to lie about that too? What more did you want her to do?”

Layla paused. “I don’t know,” she said, her voice low. “I just wanted you to know the truth.”

“The truth,” he repeated the words. “Tell me the truth then; did you call the press about Charlie Wentworth?” He didn’t hear anything, which he knew was a confirmation. “Right,” he said quietly. “And this whole time I thought she was wrong about you. But she wasn’t.” He looked up, seeing Juliette walking out of the gas station with Cadence. “What we had was a lie on your part and a horrible mistake on my end. It never should have happened. I told you before, we’re done. Do not call me again.” He ended the call and then blocked her number, belatedly realizing he should have done so days ago.

“She’s all clean and ready to go.” Juliette announced as she approached the car.

He took a deep breath, trying not to show his anger as he stepped to the side so she could walk past to strap Cadence back in the car seat. Their daughter was fussy, not wanting to be confined again so soon. They still had a long drive ahead and he was not looking forward to hours of sitting in a car with a cranky baby and he and Juliette barely talking so they could avoid arguing. _Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea_ , he thought.

Juliette stepped back, Cadence still struggling against her in protest. “They have a diner in the back. She might do better after she’s eaten.”

He agreed and sent her back in so he could park the car. Avery took his time, stalling for a few minutes to clean out the car so he could calm down. He was upset with Layla but if he were honest, he was really angry with himself for getting involved with her in the first place.

In hindsight, he could see how mad Layla had been and how consumed she’d been with Juliette, staring at her on stage and almost always making some remark, like how she’d wanted Juliette to fail her first night back out on tour. He hadn’t encouraged her but he hadn’t stopped her from saying any of it. Avery could see how Layla probably thought he hated his ex as much as she did. Why else would he have started up with her the way he had, right there on that tour, all but in Juliette’s face? He’d convinced himself that it had nothing to do with Juliette, but of course it did. He’d used Layla to run away from his feelings and if she’d have turned out to be a decent human being he might have felt even more terrible about it, but she’d had her own agenda in place and had been using him as well.

Juliette could have died. If she had, if her jet had crashed instead of landed safely in that cornfield, she’d have spent the last few weeks of her life watching him with another woman and begging him for more time with her daughter. And then he would have spent the rest of his life regretting everything.

But that hadn’t happened, he reminded himself. She’d agreed to go on this trip with him and by some miracle, even after everything they’d been through, there was still love between them.

Avery left the car, tossing the trash in a can outside the building before he went inside. He found her sitting in the booth at the very back of the small diner, away from the other customers. Cadence sat in a wooden high chair at the end of the table and had already grabbed the paper placemat in front of her and crumpled it in her hands. Juliette looked up from the menu as he slid into the booth. “I need a minute to just be thankful.”

“What?” She took her sunglasses off, letting them dangle from her finger before setting them on the table.

“Too much has happened between us and I don’t wanna jump straight into trying to fix everything that’s broken. The last thing I want to do is argue with you, Juliette. I don’t want to rehash everything that led us here. Not right now. Right now I just want to be grateful that we’re here together, the three of us, in this very sticky booth in a truck stop in Bumfuck, Nowhere.”

“Kentucky.” She smiled as she reminded him.

“Bumfuck, Kentucky,” he corrected, gently pulling the paper away from Cadence’s mouth before she could start gumming it. “But can we agree to slow down and at least enjoy this drive before we get to the heavy stuff? Believe me, there will be plenty of opportunity for tense conversation at my parents’.”

“Okay,” she agreed, glancing at Cadence as she ripped the placemat in two and gleefully waved both halves in the air. “I don’t want to rush this either.”

He exhaled, relaxing against the stiff back of the seat. “Good. So what’s for lunch?”


	3. Chapter 3

Despite Avery’s assurances that his parents were okay with her coming to stay, Juliette was nervous about seeing them again. She thought maybe she should have considered Emily’s suggestion of taking a vacation a little more seriously. A beach trip might have been less stressful.

At least Cadence had settled down after lunch, falling asleep on her mother’s shoulder while Avery paid the bill. She slept for a few hours, not waking up until they stopped again to fill up the tank. Juliette and Avery spent the time listening to and talking music, neither one of them wanting the conversation to drift into anything more serious. The baby woke in a happy mood and stayed awake for the rest of the trip, only starting to fuss about an hour away from Avery’s parents’ house. Juliette spent the last forty minutes in the backseat, trying to get her to stay quiet.

“She just wants out,” she said, raising her voice over Cadence’s whining.

“She’s not the only one.” He met her eyes in the rearview mirror, glancing at her as he made a turn. “Just a few more minutes.”

Juliette gave Cadence her pacifier and held one of her hands, rubbing her thumb over her daughter’s knuckles. She grew more nervous with every turn of the car. Avery’s parents probably hated her and she couldn’t blame them at all if they did. Her post-partum depression was one thing, an illness she couldn’t help. She understood that after her time in treatment, but she wasn’t sure her former in-laws would be forgiving of everything she’d put their son and grandchild through. Especially now that the world knew about Jeff.

“We’re here. Finally.” Avery pulled the car into the drive and Juliette got her first glimpse of his childhood home. It was as she’d pictured, a modest brick two-story set far back from the street. The house had a wide front porch partially hidden by neatly manicured bushes and framed by white posts.

“Avery,” Juliette said, glancing at the house and then over at him. “Are you sure about this?”

He stopped in the act of unbuckling his seatbelt and turned around to look at her. “Yes,” he said softly. “I already told you it’s fine.”

“I know but they might not appreciate me using their house as a hideaway.”

“Juliette, it’s okay. And if you’re really uncomfortable we’ll leave.” He put the car in park and got out, walking around to the trunk to get their bags.

Juliette sighed and reached for Cadence, lifting her from the carseat to cuddle. “Well, at least they’ll be happy to see you.” She kissed the baby’s cheek before bundling her up and sliding on her own coat. After hours of riding in the heated car, it was shockingly cold when she opened the door. “It’s freezing,” she said, stating the obvious.

Avery’s response was snatched away by the wind. He opened the side door, allowing her to go inside before him. She stepped to the side of the small room so he could set the bags down on the floor. The room was dimly lit, but she could see it was a mud room before he turned on the light. He turned to her, running one hand through his hair, and she realized he was just as nervous as she was.

“Maybe we should have gone to the beach,” she whispered, jiggling Cadence on her hip.

He smiled, shaking his head at her. “We might end up there,” he said. “But I’m not driving.”

“Oh, my goodness. You’re here!” They could hear the voice a moment before Avery’s mother appeared at the door. “I’m so happy to see you.” She’d no sooner entered the room than she had pulled Avery into a tight hug. She stepped away, holding on to his forearms for a moment. “It’s cold out, sweetheart. Where’s your scarf?” Sandra laughed and patted his arm before turning to Juliette. “Hi, Juliette.” She held out her arms, offering the hug before wrapping her arms around Juliette and Cadence. She stepped back, staring Juliette in the eyes. “It’s good to see you,” she said, nodding her head as if to make sure Juliette knew she meant it. “And you,” she reached for the baby, taking her from Juliette’s arms. “Nana couldn’t wait to hold you again, darling girl.”

“It’s good to see you too, Sandra.” Juliette watched as the older woman pressed kisses on Cadence’s forehead. “Thank you so much for letting me stay. You didn’t have to and I really appreciate--”

Sandra looked up from the baby long enough to interrupt her. “It’s no trouble, Juliette. Really. You’re welcome here.”

Juliette let out a breath. She felt a little relief from her former mother-in-law’s hospitable words, but Sandra had always been friendly with her. It was Avery’s father who she was most worried about. She really wanted to use the time at their house to step away from every negative thing that had happened, which encompassed a lot, and she wasn’t sure if Carl Barkley would be as accommodating as his wife.

“Dad’s still at work?” Avery asked.

“Yes,” Sandra said. “He probably won’t be here for a few hours, more if he works over. Are you hungry?”

Juliette shook her head. “I’m not. Actually I was hoping to lie down for a little while.” She glanced at Avery. “She was fussy coming in and I was thinking we could get a nap in once we got here.”

“Oh, sure.” Sandra kissed the baby again before handing her over. “Avery, show her upstairs.”

She followed Avery through down the hallway towards the staircase. Juliette peeked inside the living room and dining room as they passed by. The furniture was older and there were plenty of knickknacks - Avery’s mother evidently had a thing for flowers, but the house was clean and cozy. Everything she saw fleshed out the stories Avery had told her about growing up there. She followed him up the stairs, one hand on the polished handrail he’d told her that he and his sister used to slide down as kids. The wooden floor creaked as they walked and she remembered that he’d told her he’d taken his chances climbing the tree outside his bedroom window rather than try to sneak past his parents’ room on the treacherous floor.

“Crib’s in my room,” he said as he opened the door. “You can stay in here with her. I’ll take the guest room.”

Juliette followed him inside, more curious now than tired. There was so much in the room, pictures and books and _stuff_ cluttering the shelves and the desk, posters on the wall - it was as if she’d walked into a snapshot of Avery’s teenage years. “Has anything changed since you left for college?”

“I didn’t have a crib in here when I was 18,” he said.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you didn’t.”

He walked across the room and looked down at the crib. “I need to lower the mattress. She’s bigger now and she could fall.”

“Don’t worry about it right now,” Juliette said. He turned around to look at her, one eyebrow raised in query. “She can sleep with me in the bed,” she explained. He looked like he was about to protest so she continued. “I’d really just like to lie down. It’s been a long day and Cadence could use a nap.” She shifted Cadence from one hip to the other. “I’m sure you’re tired too.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. He walked away from the crib, stopping in front of her to kiss the top of Cadence’s head. “I’ll see you in a few hours then.”

Juliette sat on the bed after he closed the door behind him. She sighed, allowing herself to truly relax now that she and Cadence were alone. “We’re here now, baby,” she murmured against Cadence’s hair. “For better or worse, we’re here.”

* * *

 

Juliette woke up hours later, her hands instinctively reaching for Cadence in the dark room. The baby had rolled away from her towards the edge of the bed, but luckily was blocked from falling by the wall. She moved close, settling next to Cadence as she blinked, allowing her eyes time to adjust to the darkness. The dark drapes were drawn over the window and she couldn’t see any light peeking through, but she didn’t think it was fully night; she doubted Cadence would have slept that long anyway. It had to be near evening, hours away from the last meal she’d eaten. Her stomach growled at the thought of food and she sat up, pushing the blanket away from her legs. Avery’s bed smelled faintly of him and she’d been comforted by his familiar scent as she fell asleep. It was almost, but not quite, as good as sleeping in his arms. Cadence stirred, kicking her legs as she woke up. She rolled over and crawled to the side of the bed, pulling up on Juliette’s arm until she was standing on the mattress, holding herself steady with one hand on her mother’s shoulder.

“Hey, baby,” Juliette said. “Are you as hungry as Mama? I’m starving.” She twisted around so she could pick the baby up. “Oh, somebody needs a fresh diaper.” Juliette groped the wall, searching for the light switch, then squinted when the room lit up.

Avery hadn’t brought their bags up and she searched the room for a diaper. She found one in the crib, but when she picked it up she realized it was sizes too small. She held it, thinking about how young Cadence had been when Avery had left Nashville. Just a few months old. Now she was almost a year old, almost walking.

Her daughter squirmed against her and Juliette dropped the diaper back in the crib. She left the bedroom in search of their bags, walking back down the creaky hallway towards the stairs. “I’m pretty sure we go left,” she muttered to Cadence as they reached the bottom of the staircase. She turned, walking down the hall until she reached the end and then made a left and entered the kitchen. Too late, she realized she should have made a right to go back into the mud room.

Avery’s mother stood by the sink, drying her hands on a towel and his father leaned against the counter next to her, a mug of something hot in his hand. He looked up when he noticed her standing there, narrowing his eyes very briefly before giving her a tight smile that was more of a warning than a welcome. “Hello, Juliette,” he said, nodding.

“Hi, Mr. Barkley.” She spent a split second considering what else to say. It wasn’t exactly good to see him but she didn’t want to be rude. “Thank you for letting us come visit.”

He nodded again, tipping his mug towards her just slightly as he raised it to take a sip. “You’re welcome.”

Sandra spoke up, setting her towel down on the counter before walking over to take the baby. “How was your nap, sweetheart? Are you well-rested enough for Nana to play with you?”

“She is but she needs to be changed and I don’t know where the bags are.”

“Oh, Avery decided to take a little nap himself and he left the bags down here. I’ll get the diaper bag for you.”

Sandra left the room, leaving Juliette alone with her former father-in-law, who had never been a fan of hers. They stared at each other for a moment and she considered making some kind of small talk, but had no idea with that would even consist of. And, hell, she was mentally exhausted and tired of pretending. They may as well just be honest with each other while neither Avery nor his mother were around.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still hanging in there with me, THANK YOU! I had some sort of stomach bug that made me question every dietary choice I've made in recent weeks. I couldn't write but now that I'm better, my ultimate goal is to get this thing finished before the season starts. It's a slow story but I have the time now that the holidays are here and I just might be able to squeak it out before January 5th. Fingers crossed. Happy Holidays!

* * *

Something stopped Juliette from speaking her mind and she held her tongue, thinking about what she wanted to say before blurting something out that couldn't be taken back. She reminded herself that Carl was Avery's father and Cadence's grandfather and that had to mean something. It meant a lot, actually. She had no one - no family outside of herself for her daughter. With Avery, Cadence had grandparents, great-grandparents and an aunt, maybe even cousins one day. Juliette didn't want to do anything to hurt those relationships. This was his family - the people he'd turned to after she'd blown his life apart and she didn't want to add any additional strain to his relationship with his father.

She'd wanted to call and tell her former in-laws how very sorry she was for hurting their son. Sorry for making a baby with him - making a life with him and then abandoning both him and their child. None of it had been what she'd envisioned when she and Avery had married, beaming at each other as they stood before the officiant. He'd insisted on carrying her, round and gravid as she was, over the threshold of the house. She'd had one arm wound around his neck as he stumbled inside, the hand holding the marriage certificate pressed flat against his back. The baby had been kicking and she'd pressed her other hand to her stomach to comfort their daughter, the brand new ring on her finger unfamiliar but so, so welcome. They were finally a family and it was more than she could have dreamed of.

His mother had been pleased when they'd called to share the news. Avery put his parents on speaker phone and Juliette remembered the delighted sound of her new mother-in-law's laugh. After a beat, his father said, "Really," and then, "Congratulations." She was sure Sandra had prompted his response but at the time, neither she nor Avery cared what he thought. They'd been so happy and so relieved to put the past behind them and finally be able to love each other again. Their wedding night Avery held her, wanting to feel the baby kick properly instead of the hesitant way he would touch her before, with just the tips of his fingers resting on her stomach. He wrapped his arms around her waist and put a hand on her belly, flat palmed and possessive, holding her and his daughter as they fell asleep.

She thought she would wake up in his arms every day for the rest of her life, but it hadn't worked out that way. Their marriage had imploded and it was her fault. She was aware of that. She didn't need any help blaming herself for her failures and if Carl was going to act as he had during their first meeting at the CMAs, judgmental, cynical and as Avery put it, a jerk - she might as well leave now.

"Mr. Barkley," she said slowly, forcing herself to raise her voice so he could hear her. "I hope you really don't mind me being here. If you do, I can make other arrangements."

"If I did mind, you wouldn't be here," he said flatly. "How long you think you'll be staying?"

She didn't mind his frankness, but the question caught her off guard. "I don't know." She shrugged. In her rush to leave Nashville, she hadn't yet considered what she would do after they got to Ohio.

"So there's no plan. You guys left Nashville just like that, huh." It was the way he said it that bothered her, practically scoffing the words with his eyebrows raised and eyes bucked as if she'd just said the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

After dealing with Sean's mother Juliette had thought she would welcome open derision over the strange, cruelly duplicitous way Mrs. Butler had treated her. But after just a few moments in his presence, Carl Barkley had managed to make her reconsider. His comment was more a statement than a question. No, there had been no plan. A few hours after her second confession to the world about how her life had been falling apart, her plane had to make an emergency landing in a cornfield. Juliette didn't know anyone who would have had a ready plan of how to deal with the aftermath of all that.

She chose to walk away, thinking again of the beach. That option was starting to sound better and better and Juliette knew if she allowed her temper get the better of her, she might be walking barefoot through the sand in a matter of hours.

She left the kitchen and found Sandra in the living room with Cadence.

"Oh, there's Mama." Sandra said, lifting Cadence from the couch to sit her on her lap. "I went ahead and changed her. She's gotten so big."

"Yes, she has." Juliette sat down near the opposite end of the couch, watching as her daughter wiggled her way to the floor.

"Is she walking?"

"She's threatening to. She'll take a few steps if someone's holding her hand but she won't do it on her own." Cadence edged her way towards her mother, using the couch as support. "Hi, baby! Are you coming to see Mama?" Her daughter grinned up at her, reaching out to touch her mother's knee.

"Avery was a late walker," Sandra confided. "He would only crawl backwards and then he wouldn't walk for the longest time. Somehow he always managed to get where he wanted to go so I didn't worry about it. Now his sister was completely different. She was practically born running. Walking at 8 months. I thought we'd have to tie that girl down."

She laughed, but Juliette could hear the hint of sorrow underlying Sandra's voice when she talked about her daughter. She was tempted to ask but didn't want to pry. Things were already awkward enough.

"I think Cadence is gonna walk soon," she said, calling attention back to the baby who was now slowly returning to her grandmother. "Maybe she just needs a little motivation."

"Well, Nana's got plenty of that. We've got plenty of goodies and toys for you, sweetheart." The sadness had disappeared, replaced by a huge smile as Sandra picked the baby up and kissed her cheek. "Nana's gonna spoil you while she has the chance."

Juliette's heart sank when she heard those words. Not because she didn't want Sandra spoiling her daughter, she didn't mind that at all. But they couldn't escape, to the beach or anywhere else - at least not right away - without hurting Avery's mother and Juliette didn't want to do that, even if Carl was being himself. She hadn't anticipated needed a getaway from her getaway but she was starting to feel the teeniest bit trapped.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: These two chapters are really one but I broke them up because of the length. Please let me know what you think. This story is constantly changing direction as I write it.

 

* * *

Avery felt the usual confusion when he woke up looking at an unfamiliar ceiling and it took a moment for him to remember where he was and whose bed he'd been sleeping in. After months at Gunnar's and weeks traveling on tour and then several nights over at Layla's, he thought he'd be used to waking up on a strange pillow, but it was still disorienting. Even after all this time, he still missed _his_ bed, the one he'd shared with his wife. He swore it was the most comfortable mattress he'd ever rested his body on, and even though Juliette had been quick to quote the cost as the reason for that, he thought it had more to do with who he'd been sharing the bed with.

He hoped Juliette was comfortable down the hall in his old bedroom. She'd claimed exhaustion, but he suspected she'd really needed some time to be alone. It had been a long trip for all of them and he'd noticed her fidgeting more the closer they got to his parents' house. When he'd offered to lower the crib mattress, she'd been rocking her hips from side to side and biting at her lip, something she did when she was nervous. He felt it was best to let her have that time so she could relax and soon after, the drive caught up with him and he decided to lie down as well.

A glance at his phone told him he'd slept longer than he intended. Avery sat up, running his fingers through his hair as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He was just about to get up when he heard a knock at the door and a second later, Juliette cracked it open.

"Hey, you awake?"

"Yeah, I was about to come check on you. Baby still sleeping?"

She let herself in the room, finding the light switch on the wall as she closed the door behind her. "She's with your mom. I told her I'd come up and get you for dinner. If you feel anything like I do, you're starving."

"I am," he nodded. "Are you feeling better? Seemed like you needed some space earlier."

"I did," she admitted. "I was still a little nervous about seeing your parents - well, your dad. And the drive was a little tense. I wasn't sure this was a good decision."

Avery motioned for her to sit down and waited until she'd sat on the bed next to him before continuing. "I know there's a lot on your mind right now. This was supposed to be a place where you could relax but if you feel like coming here was a mistake, we can leave. I'm not sure how far I can get us on four hours of sleep, but we could get a room and go back to Nashville in the morning."

"I don't know, Avery. I don't want to hurt your mom. She's enjoying Cadence so much, but your dad…"

"Did he say something to you?" A stone settled in the pit of Avery's stomach and he regretted his decision to take a nap. He'd wanted to see his father before she did so he could gauge his mood. He should have known the friendly invitation he'd gotten over the phone had been too good to be true.

"He said he didn't mind me being here but I'm pretty sure he still thinks I'm a trainwreck. A trainwreck with no plan. And he's right about that because I have no idea what to do."

"Juliette." He covered her hand with his, leaning closer to her so that their shoulders bumped. "You're not a trainwreck. Don't listen to him. No one could have a plan for this. And don't feel like we have to stay because of my mom. I know she's glad to spend time with her granddaughter but I want you to be comfortable. If not here, then somewhere else. As long as the three of us are together."

She glanced at him then moved her eyes away to look across the room. "Avery, are you sure you want to do this with me? You said you were happy before…"

Avery sighed. He had told her that, lied to her so that she would leave him alone. It wasn't true. "I wasn't happy, Juliette. I know what I said and I'm sorry for lying. I wanted to be happy. I had been a wreck for so long and-"

"Because of me," she interrupted, pain evident in her voice.

"Because of everything that happened," he corrected. "I was gonna say that I was a wreck for so long, really just treading water and trying to keep it together for Cadence. There was so much pain there and anger…and I was scared, like you said in your text." He moved his hand so he could lace his fingers with hers. "I didn't want to be brave with you. I just wanted to be free. And I don't want to lie to you about that now. That's what I thought would make me happy."

Juliette shifted, crossing her legs at the ankles. "Maybe that's what we should do then, just be free of each other?" She sniffed and let go of his hand to wipe her eyes.

"No," he shook his head. "I was wrong. I don't want to be free from you. I don't know how to live without you. Not when we can make this right. That's what I kept thinking when your plane was missing, that I blew my last chance to make it right with you. That I'd never get to see you again and tell you that I love you. You sitting here with me now is like a miracle and I want us to make the most of this chance if we can, for us and for our daughter."

"So how…where do we start?"

"With dinner," he said. "Before we pass out from hunger." He stood and held his hand out to her. "Come on. We've got plenty of time to talk."

She got up and they went downstairs with their hands still clasped together. His mother was feeding Cadence when they walked into the kitchen. She looked up at them, glancing down at their hands and then back to the baby and Avery thought he saw a small smile flicker across her face before she turned away.

"I've just got sandwiches," she said. "I wasn't sure how hungry you would be so I didn't want to make anything heavy. Just ham and turkey subs."

"That's fine, Mom." He went to the sink to wash his hands and then pulled three rolls out of a bag, two for himself and one for Juliette. "Where's Dad?"

"He went out to the garage to see how much salt we have," she said, setting a cube of cheese on Cadence's high chair tray. "We're expecting some snow."

"How much?" He asked, reaching for the container of mayonnaise on the counter.

"Eh, they keep changing the amount. Last I checked five or six inches or maybe a little more. I'm glad you guys came today. Would have been horrible driving through it tomorrow."

"Five or six?" Juliette said. "Is that - do we need to get water or something? Flashlights?"

Avery laughed. "No, Juliette. It's not like a hurricane. Five or six inches will mess up the roads for a while, but they'll plow and we'll be fine after a couple hours." He handed her the knife he'd been using for the mayo, noting the doubt on her face. "It's no big deal."

"So this is normal?" she asked. "To snow this much? It's March."

He shrugged. "Welcome to Ohio." He piled some meat on his bread, added lettuce, tomatoes and cheese and then took the sandwiches to the table. Cadence clapped her hands when he sat down before continuing to eat her own deconstructed version of the sandwich, torn pieces of bread, meat, cheese cubes and chopped tomatoes. "And it could just be an exaggeration," he said to Juliette. "They might predict five to six but then maybe we'll only get three and the real snowfall will be further north."

"Maybe," his mother said. "But I think we might get hit this time." She turned around in her chair to face Juliette. "Don't worry. Like Avery said, it's not a big deal. A few last weeks of winter weather before spring. We've got plenty of extra hats and gloves if you need them. And scarves," she said, looking pointedly at her son.

Juliette sat next to him and ate her sandwich quietly. At first he wondered why she was so concerned about the snow. It wasn't as if they had big plans to do anything. He took another bite and then it dawned on him - she was still conflicted about being there and a snowstorm meant they wouldn't be able to leave, at least for a while. She didn't want to be trapped. Avery wasn't sure how much of that was due to what his father had said to her or what she feared he might say. Either way, he knew he had to talk to him. No matter what happened between them, Juliette was Cadence's mother and there were years of birthdays and holidays that stretched before them. Avery didn't want her to be on pins and needles every time his father was due to come around.


	6. Chapter 6

Juliette was still dawdling over her sandwich by the time Avery had finished both of his. "I'm gonna go out to the garage and get the wrench so I can fix the crib." She nodded and he left the kitchen to grab his coat and shoes before heading outside. He went out the back door, pausing on the porch before stepping into the dark yard.

The garage was set back further from the street than the house, the door illuminated by a mercury light hanging from its roof. Avery shoved his hands in his pocket as he walked over the cold grass, recalling the dozens of times he'd done it as a kid, headed out to the garage for some type of dressing down. He'd thought things had gotten better between him and his father since he'd stayed there with Cadence. He'd thought his dad had finally accepted that he was an adult who made his own choices. That had always been their problem. His father hated every decision he'd ever made and let him know it.

When he called to tell his parents that Juliette was pregnant, he'd desperately needed support. Just a few kind words to let him know he wasn’t alone and that the rising panic in his stomach he felt every time he thought of a tiny baby - his baby - depending on him was normal. He hadn't gotten any from his dad. His father had sputtered over the phone, his voice incredulous as if he couldn't believe it. Called him careless and _reckless_ as if he'd gotten Juliette pregnant on purpose. As if he'd bring a life into the world with such lack of concern. But that was how his father was. He knew how to dig, how to make Avery feel like a failure. As a teenager he'd thought it was because his father was too old, too stuck in his ways, too _parental_ to get him. But even as an adult he didn't understand it.

Avery opened the door on the side of the garage and stepped inside, instantly warmed by the heat radiating from the floor. When he was young, he'd loved going out to the garage to watch his father work with his tools. The garage was his father's lair and he was always building something, cabinets or tables or benches. When Avery thought of his dad, he remembered the splinters he'd get from running his fingers over some unfinished piece of furniture. He thought of the lump he'd get in his throat when his father told him he was wrong about something. It was the smell of wood stain and the grit on the floor and the sound of his father's voice expressing his disappointment over and over again. And music. That was the irony of the whole thing. His father hated Avery's choice of career but he was unwittingly responsible for it. Carl Barkley loved the Pretenders and listened to their albums while he was working. Summer mornings Avery would wake up to the sound of Chrissie Hynde's voice as it floated up to his room and if his father was working on something at night, her voice would be the one to lull him to sleep. Even now, he'd find himself putting on one of those albums if he had trouble sleeping. That music had been the gateway to appreciating rock, to playing the guitar, to starting his own band. His father either didn't realize it or wouldn't acknowledge it, but that's what had started him on the path.

His dad was hunched over near the back wall of the garage, lifting a bag of salt onto his shoulder. He grunted when he turned around and saw Avery. Carried the bag a few steps towards the car door and dropped it before speaking. "How you doing, Son?"

"I'm good, Dad. You need help?"

"Nah, that oughta do it. They say seven or eight inches by afternoon tomorrow."

Avery frowned. "Thought it was five to six."

"Keeps changing. We'll just have to see." He pulled off his gloves and set them on a work bench. The silence that spread between them was painfully familiar. By the time Avery had been a senior in high school, not talking had been the only way to avoid arguing with each other.

He'd started researching colleges early in his junior year and only applied to schools outside of Ohio. He wanted to be as far away from home as grants and scholarships would allow him. He chose Ole Miss, not because he'd been dying to be a Rebel - not in that sense. But he had wanted to rebel against everything his father represented. His father refused to pay the remainder of his tuition unless he gave up his music aspirations for a more practical major. Business or medicine, both subjects equally boring to his son. They compromised on English and Avery changed it as soon as he finished his first year.

"I need to get that Allen wrench for the crib," Avery said. His dad pointed to a drawer in his tool chest and they lapsed into silence as Avery rummaged through the drawer, trying to find the right size wrench.

"Before you say anything, I didn't mean to upset your ex-wife earlier. I was surprised that you two didn't put any thought into coming up here. I probably shouldn't have been, considering how you've been running your life lately."

"Dad, what are you talking about, how I've been running my life?" Avery had his fingers on the right wrench, or what he guessed was the right one and he was tempted to just grab it and go back to the house.

"I'm talking about you dragging that baby on that tour. That was such a bad idea."

Avery sucked in a breath. His father was right about _that_ tour. Agreeing to go on tour with Layla had been an impulse decision and one he came to realize wasn't very well thought out. At the time he'd been trying to escape from Juliette and that had backfired. But under the best circumstances, Cadence was likely to be a tour baby anyway. Her mother was a singer and if not for the PPD, Juliette might have been headlining her own tour under HW65 right now. "Dad, Cadence goes where we go. She's a baby. It's not like she's missing school."

"Don't you think she deserves more stability?" his father continued. "Her whole life has been flitting from place to place."

"What do you want me to say?" Avery raised his hands in exasperation. "I'm trying to fix it. We're trying to fix it."

"Good luck with that." He turned away, fiddling with something on the workbench behind him. "I said it before, but that girl's a long shot. Be nice if she can turn it around and be a decent mother to her child."

Avery shook his head in anger. Some things would never change. "Why the hell did you say it was okay for us to come?" His father turned around and glared at him. "If you're just gonna tell us how horrible we are, what's the point? Why are we here?"

"I'm not trying to upset you."

"Really?" His eyebrows shot up on his forehead in disbelief.

"No, Son. I'm…" He paused for so long Avery thought he might not say anything else. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his father actually think before opening his mouth. "I don't want to see that little girl raised up like her mother. And don't get angry when I say that. You know what kind of life she had. That's why I suggested you stay up here with your family. Cadence could grow up in a stable household, no drug use or anything else." His father slid his hands into the pockets of his bib overalls. "You say she's been to rehab and she's been to therapy and she's doing better and then we find out about her manager dying. I don't want you to be the next person to fall off a roof trying to save her."

Avery exhaled, letting his anger dissolve in slow, measured breaths. He hadn't thought about it in the way his parents would have. "She was sick when that happened, Dad. That was before she got help. She's better now."

His father nodded, slowly letting his head rise and fall. "Then I hope she can be a good mother to Cadence. And a good woman for you if that's what you want."

"It is," he said. He grabbed the wrench, closed the drawer and turned to leave.

Your sister." His father spoke before he reached the door and Avery turned around to face him, but he'd lowered his eyes to the floor. "To answer your question. I said you could come because of Bren. I was hard on your sister and she's gone now. Your mother doesn't ask for much but she wants to have a relationship with her grandchild. I don't want to be the cause of you shutting us out of your life."

Avery hadn't heard his father say his sister's name in years. They didn't talk about Bren. Their father had pushed her the same way, criticizing and demeaning her until she couldn't take it anymore. She moved out after her 18th birthday and hadn't looked back. His mother spent weeks begging Bren to come back but she refused. Months later, he could still hear her sobs through the wall vent in his bedroom. That's when he stopped talking to his father and started counting down the days until his graduation.

"I wouldn't do that to Mom," he said. "She adores that little girl and Cadence deserves to know her grandmother. But if Juliette isn't comfortable staying, we're gonna leave. Mom can come to Nashville to visit any time she wants." He paused, letting that statement sit in the room for a moment. "I love you, Dad, but I have to think of my girls." He gripped the small tool in his hand and left his father alone in the garage as he headed back towards the house. It had already started snowing and the light flurries looked like confetti as they drifted from the night sky.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, one chapter split into two because of the length. I'm trying to keep the average chapter lengths similar although that probably only matters to my anal mind. I sincerely hope that you are enjoying this story. I had different plans for it way back when I wrote the first chapter, but I'm enjoying how it's turning out. Reviews are welcomed.

 

* * *

Juliette had changed into a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt and stretched out on Avery's childhood bed, propping her head up with her hand. She reached for the remote and flicked through channels on the television until finding the local news. She glanced up at the partially opened door when Avery knocked.

"Hey. Where's Cadence?"

"Your mom's giving her a bath," she said. "She managed to get cheese smeared in her hair."

He smiled a little and pushed the door open, coming fully into the room. "I need to fix the crib."

"No hurry. She probably won't go to sleep for a while." She looked back at the small TV on the dresser. The sound was low but the predicted snowfall totals were flashing on the screen.

"No," he agreed. "She had that late nap. Might be a while before she gets sleepy." He walked over to the crib and lifted the mattress out and propped it against the wall. "I can take her if you want. I had a longer nap than you did."

"That's okay." She pointed at the television even though his back was turned. "They're calling it Snowmaggedon. Is that even a word?"

"You remember Snowpocalypse at home a few years ago." He seemed preoccupied as he worked on disassembling the crib. "Don't worry. You've toured in the winter before. You've seen snow."

"I've seen snow but not like this, Avery. I've never been caught in an actual snowstorm." He hummed in response. "Did everything go okay with your dad?"

"Uh, yeah." He removed the side of the crib and set it to the side and then crouched on the floor. "More or less."

She narrowed her eyes at him. There was something hidden in his vague reply. "What does that mean?"

His paused in the act of unscrewing a bolt. "We came to an understanding. He said he didn't mean to upset you, if that means anything. But what I said to you earlier still applies. If you're uncomfortable we can just go."

"I don't think we're going anywhere any time soon," she focused on the television again. "They're saying ten inches."

"Ten?" he asked. He glanced at her over his shoulder. "Five minutes ago it was eight."

"Right?" she said. "It'll be a foot by midnight."

He turned around and watched the TV for a moment. "Looks like you're right about us staying." He turned back to the crib and started unscrewing another bolt. "Are you okay with that?"

She shrugged, realizing she didn't really have a choice. The snowstorm was inevitable and unless they left immediately they were stuck. "I think so."

He left the crib, and sat next to her on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

  
"No, don't be." She touched his arm, running her fingers over his textured knit sweater. "I'm not upset, Avery, and it's not that I'm miserable here with your family. Please don't think that. Maybe this is how it was supposed to work out."

"Maybe," he said. He put his hand on top of hers. "I'll get you to the beach sooner or later."

Her lips lifted in a slight smile. "Promise?"

"Yes. Promise." He smiled down at her and she could see the change in his eyes as his mood shifted from teasing to longing.

_He's going to kiss me._ The thought flirted across her mind a half second before moved, leaning forward so he hovered over her. _He's gorgeous_ , she thought and reached up to brush his hair back from his face.

The creaking from the hallway floor startled them both and they both sat up on the bed, gaping at the door. "Hi," Sandra walked in holding Cadence on her hip and a bottle in her hand. The baby was dressed in a fleece one-piece pajama with pink and blue polka dots. "She's got her bath."

"Thank you," Juliette held out her arms for the child. "Hi, baby girl. Don't you look nice and comfy in your pjs?" Cadence babbled in response to her mother. "Oh, yeah? Did you have fun with Nana today?"

"I've certainly had fun with her," Sandra said. "She's such a sweetheart." She set the bottle on the nightstand and then leaned over to kiss her granddaughter's forehead. "Goodnight, darling. Nana will see you in the morning." She put a hand on Juliette's shoulder. "Goodnight to you two as well."

"Night," Juliette said, echoing Avery. She settled the baby on the bed and tried to keep her occupied as he finished working on the crib. Cadence wanted to get down and go to Avery but Juliette would only allow her to crawl to the edge of the mattress.

"Dadadada." The baby plaintively called for her father, her small voice growing louder every time her mother denied her access to the floor.

"Daddy's almost done." He dropped the mattress back inside the crib and picked her up from the bed. "Ready for a bottle now? And bed?"

Cadence shook her head and launched into an excited string of consonants, pointing at the crib, the television, her mother and the ceiling.

Avery looked at Juliette. "She's wired. I doubt she'll go to sleep after her bottle but you could try."

Juliette shrugged. "I'll read to her and hopefully she'll go down."

He nodded and passed their daughter over to her, kissing the baby on the top of her head. "Night, princess." He glanced up at her and she could see the same longing in his eyes from before. "Goodnight, Juliette."

"Night." She turned the TV off and fed the baby, rocking her and humming as she did so. Afterwards she read _Goodnight Moon_ to Cadence, trying to keep her voice soft. Usually, a tired Cadence waved when her mother read the second half of the book when it was time to say goodnight but this time she was alert and started talking, practically reading along with her mother. Juliette gave up before they reached the last page.

"Oh, baby. It's just not happening, huh?"

Her phone rang and both she and Cadence looked up from the book. Glenn. Her eyebrows furrowed as she accepted the call. "Hey, Glenn."

"Hi, kiddo. Are you busy?"

"Trying to put this baby to sleep," she said, closing the book and setting it aside. "What's going on?"

* * *

Half an hour later Cadence was still wide awake, although she had settled down on the bed with her mother, playing with a stuffed hippopotamus that her grandmother had made for her.

"What are we gonna call her?" Juliette asked, fingering the toy's crocheted ear. "Your little hippo."

"Poe?" Cadence flicked her eyes from the toy to her mother and Juliette giggled because she looked just like Avery when he was puzzled over something.

"Poe's a good name." She kissed her daughter's cheek. "Are you gonna go to sleep tonight, baby? Ever?" Cadence shook her head. "Of course not."

There was a soft knock on the door and Avery pushed it open. Cadence turned towards the sound and grinned when she saw her father. She rolled over so she was sitting up and clapped her hands. "Dadada!"

"Sorry." He came inside and sat on the bed so he could pick Cadence up. "I thought she might have gone to sleep. I didn't hear her in the other room. Did you try the crib?"

"No." Juliette lay back on the pillow and stared at the two people she loved most in the world. Cadence stood in Avery's lap, both her hands on his cheeks as she continued saying his name. "She is such a daddy's girl." Avery glanced away from the baby to look at her. "When I was on the plane and realized we were in trouble, I just wanted to see your faces one more time. I was so scared but I kept thinking of you two and hoping that you'd know how much I love you both."

Avery reached for her hand so he could kiss the back of it. "I'm so happy you're here with me, Juliette."

"So am I. Even if it's not the beach."


	8. Chapter 8

Avery smiled down at her until the baby patted his face with both hands, demanding his attention. "All right, baby girl. I guess it's gonna be one of those nights." He got up and turned off the light and squeezed on the edge of the bed, putting Cadence between them. "The dark might help."

"Maybe," Juliette whispered, moving the hippo next to her daughter. "Hippo might help too."

"Poe?" Cadence said, hugging the toy to her.

They were quiet until Cadence finally drifted off to sleep and her soft snores were the only sounds in the room.

"Good job, Daddy." Juliette's eyes had adjusted to the dark and she could make out the outline of Avery's face on the pillow. "Glenn called with an offer from _O Magazine_." She kept her voice low so she wouldn't wake their daughter. "They had a spread on depression in their February issue and they want me to do an in-depth interview for an article about the PPD. It wouldn't be published until April."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know." She turned her eyes towards the ceiling. "I don't know if I'm ready to share that with the world."

"Could you share it with me?" He asked. "What it felt like?"

She sighed and carefully considered her words before she spoke. One thing she'd wanted while she was in therapy and then afterwards was for Avery to show some interest in her recovery. Now that he was, she wasn't sure how much to tell him. "When I was in therapy I was surprised at how many different ways it can manifest itself. Some women couldn't get out of bed while I had so much energy. Some moms couldn't be away from their babies for even a few minutes; I didn't want to be with mine. For me, it was like fighting a dark version of myself. And that Juliette knew exactly what to say to make me feel worthless. Who was I to be a mom and a wife when I didn't know anything about love? I knew in my head that I should love her but I didn't want to get close to her. There was no way I could tell you that. You were so good with her right from the beginning and I wasn't and that other Juliette was right. I was a failure."

He moved on the bed, making the mattress shift under her. "I wanted so badly to help you," he said.

"I know you did, Avery." She shook her head. "I thought a lot about Mama while I was there. I empathized with her for the first time ever. It was the first time I ever really understood what she was up against and I don't mean the addiction, I mean the depression. I'm not saying she had PPD, but she was alone after my father died with just me to take care of and nobody to take care of her. I finally got how lonely she must have been. Maybe all those years she kept saying she was gonna change and things would get better, maybe deep down she wanted to get help. It's just so much easier to run and the drugs help you hide from what you're feeling. Once the drugs and the alcohol were gone I had to face it. I had this horrible post-partum depression and everything was ruined because I wouldn't let anyone help me. That's a hard thing to accept. Even when I had been in therapy for a while I struggled with how I'd destroyed everything and hurt the two of you. I'm so sorry for that, Avery." She wiped away hot tears as they slid from her eyes. "A lot of my therapy was learning how to take care of myself and of course, bonding with Cadence."

He spoke up softly from the other side of the bed. "What do you mean, taking care of yourself?"

"Accepting that the PPD wasn't my fault. That was a huge hurdle for me because I really thought it was. Even though there were other women there that were dealing with it, it just felt like it was because of something I'd done and I was being punished somehow. I was angry because we never discussed it at any of my doctor's appointments before she came and I thought maybe that would have made a difference, if we'd known. But maybe it wouldn't have. I don't know. It took me a long time to really believe that I didn't cause it."

Avery had been lying on his side watching her in the darkness as she spoke, but he rolled over and faced the ceiling. "I felt that way while everything was going on. Maybe if we'd known or maybe if I'd have done this or not done that…maybe things would have turned out differently. I'll always regret not reaching out to you that night you texted me and even before then, when I was here with my parents. I'll always regret forcing you to sign away your rights to her."

"Don't." She rolled over and propped herself up so she could face him. "You had to protect her. I get that, Avery. You don't know how many times I wished somebody would have protected me from Mama when I was a kid."

"That wasn't the same thing."

"But it was. It was exactly the same thing. I needed help."

His voice was thick with emotion when he spoke. "If I wouldn't have done that do you think you'd have been out there on that ledge?"

"I don't know." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Losing you was devastating. I might have still felt like…I guess the thing is that we just don't know what might have happened if we'd made different choices. Unfortunately it happened the way it did. I'm grateful that I made it to a place where I could get help." They lapsed into silence and Juliette's eyes started to drift close as she fell asleep.

"You were so beautiful." His quiet words woke her back up and she opened to eyes to see him still staring at the ceiling. "When you came to Gunnar's house after you checked out of treatment. I'm not sure if it had just been so long since I'd seen you or if…I couldn't breathe." Juliette could just barely make out the tears running down the side of his face. "I still loved you and I hated myself for it. After everything, I didn't understand how I could still feel anything for you but it was there." He turned his face towards her. "I've never loved any woman the way I love you." Even in the dark she could see the intensity in his eyes. "Do you believe that? Layla wasn't-"

"It's okay, Avery," she interrupted, not needing to hear him finish that sentence. "Noah wasn't either." She moved closer, curving her body around their daughter's so she could rest her forehead against his and she put an arm on his waist. "We're here now. We're here together."

* * *

Cadence's small grunts woke her mother up. Her daughter struggled to move from between her parents' bodies, flailing her arms so she smacked Juliette in the face.

"Morning to you too," Juliette said. She managed to get out of bed and change the baby's diaper without waking Avery. She picked Cadence up and walked to the window to look outside. "Wow." Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the snow. It was more than she had seen in one place in her life. "Let's go check that out," she said to Cadence.

She left the room and headed down the stairs, stopping in the mudroom to bundle the baby in her coat and pull hers over her T-shirt. She stuffed her feet in Avery's boots and crept out the front door onto the porch. "Look, baby," she said softly. "Look at the snow." Cadence peeked from underneath her hood, her blue eyes bright in the morning light. Juliette scooped up a handful of snow from the porch rail in her hand and held it up for her daughter. Cadence looked at her and then raised her hand to touch it and Juliette laughed at her surprised expression. "It's cold, huh?"

Juliette turned around as the front door opened behind her and Avery's father stepped out onto the porch. Cadence whipped her head around and when she saw her grandfather she pointed at the yard as if to show him the snow.

Carl's face softened when he heard her babbling and for the first time, Juliette could see a hint of Avery in the older man's smile.

"This your first real snow?" He asked. At her nod, he continued, "You should see it in the back."

He held the door open for her and then led her through the house and onto the back porch. The sun was just coming up and cast a soft orange glow through the trees on onto the unblemished snow in the yard. The deep snow clung to the naked trees branches, making them appear radiant and ethereal, like slender angels cloaked in white. It was silent and stunningly pure. Juliette took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp air into her lungs. She couldn't help but thinking that the sight had almost been lost to her. It had almost been something she would have lived her entire life and never seen. She took Cadence's hand in hers, warming the baby's fingers as she blinked away tears. She looked up at Avery's father. "Thank you for showing me this," she said.

"You're welcome," he said, nodding at her. He leaned against the post and looked back out at the yard. "Most peaceful place I know."

Juliette had to agree.


	9. Chapter 9

Avery woke up to an empty bed. He stretched, working out the kinks in his back that had resulted from hours of driving and then sharing his old full-sized mattress with two other people. When he made it downstairs, his parents were at the kitchen table eating breakfast and entertaining Cadence, who was happily munching on scrambled eggs and oatmeal.

“Morning.” His mother looked away from the baby to greet him. “Help yourself. We’d have waited but Juliette said you were still asleep.”

“Good morning, Mom. Yeah, I guess I was still recovering from that drive. Morning, princess.” Avery ruffled the baby’s hair before he kissed the top of her head. She giggled and offered him a bit of egg which he noticed had been dunked in her bowl of oatmeal. “Oh, wow. You’re sharing breakfast with Daddy?” He leaned over and opened his mouth so she could feed him. It was an interesting bite; egg, oatmeal, cinnamon and sugar. “Mmm.” He quickly swallowed, all while making a face as if it were the best thing he’d ever tasted. “That was so good. Thank you, sweetheart.” Avery stepped away from the highchair before she could offer him more of her food. “Morning, Dad,” he said, grabbing the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. “Where’s Juliette?”

“She’s out back,” his father answered, rattling the newspaper in his hands. “Enjoying the snow.”

At first he thought his father was poking fun at her expense, but he’d said it with none of the expected sarcasm. Avery added a heavy spoonful of sugar to the mug before leaving the kitchen. He took a sip as he walked down the hall, savoring the taste of the dark liquid before swallowing. He stopped at the doorway to the back porch and watched Juliette through the glass. She had her back to him, hands tucked in the pockets of her coat as she looked out over the yard. The door creaked when he opened it and she jumped before spinning around.

“Oh, you scared me,” she said, raising one hand to press on her chest. “Hey.”

“Good morning.” He pushed the door open further. “Are you hungry? Breakfast is ready.”

She shook her head, “In a minute.” She glanced back over her shoulder and then back to him. “Come out here with me.”

He smirked. “I can’t. You’ve got my boots on.”

“Oh.” She looked down at his bare feet and then at the floor. The porch was covered, but the wind had blown a decent amount of snow in from the yard; it had gathered in the corners and left a fine coating of white on the wooden boards. Juliette shook off one of his boots then picked it up and walked towards the door, leaving a set of mismatched footprints behind her.

She set it down in front of him. An invitation.

He handed her his mug of coffee and stepped into the shoe, leaving the door partially open as they walked back towards the rail. The cold bit into the sole of his foot with each step and he hunched his shoulders, his t-shirt little protection against the bitter air. Juliette reached for his hand and her fingers were warm as they encircled his. They stopped at the railing, standing with their bare feet next to each other. “What are we looking at?” He asked, squinting in the direction of the trees. Maybe there had been a deer that had caught her attention.

“It’s so beautiful out here.” She drank some of his coffee and set the cup on the railing. “I was watching the sun rise and taking a moment.” She bumped her shoulder against his arm. “Being thankful. I wanted to share it with you.”

Avery looked away from the yard to the woman standing next to him. The clear sky was tinted with shades of orange and red that cast a halo off Juliette’s blonde hair; her eyes were a pale shade of hazel in the light and her cheeks flush and bright. Her lips curved into a smile and Avery momentarily forgot all about his half-frozen toes and the fact that his teeth were already threatening to chatter. “God, you’re beautiful.” He let go of her hand so he could brush his fingers over her cheek. “Thank you.”

She laughed, leaning her face into the warmth of his touch. “You didn’t even see the sun.”

“Yes, I did,” he said. “I saw it reflected in you.”

Juliette turned her face, kissing his fingers. “You’re cold.” She took his hand in between both of hers and rubbed her palms against his skin, trying to warm him.

“You gonna do my foot too? Because it’s a lot colder than my hand.”

“We both know that’s not gonna happen.” She lifted her bare foot off the floor, holding on to him for balance. “But it is cold. Let’s go back in.”

They made their way back inside, both of them wiping their wet feet on the rug inside the doorway. He held the mug of tepid coffee, trying not to spill any on her head as she helped him take off the boot. Despite the warmth of the kitchen, it took a while for his foot to feel normal. By that time, his father had already excused himself and Cadence had finished breakfast and whined her way out of the highchair. Her grandmother held her, allowing her parents to eat in peace.

“Do you have any plans today?” His mother asked, looking from him to Juliette.

He shook his head and ate his last spoonful of oatmeal.

“What does someone do after Snowmaggedon?” Juliette asked.

“Shovel,” his mother said with a laugh. “Although we didn’t get as much as they predicted.”

“No, but I should help Dad with the driveway. But after we’re done I can give you the hometown tour,” he offered. “Should take all of 30 minutes.” She nodded. “Mom, you don’t mind watching the baby, do you?”

“Of course not,” his mother said. She stood the baby up in her lap and smiled at her granddaughter. “I’d love to babysit this angel.”

He and Juliette cleared their dishes from the table and returned upstairs to get dressed. Avery was pulling on his socks when she appeared in the doorway.

“How long will it take you to do the driveway?”

“Could be a little while.”

She leaned against the door. “Might be faster if I help?”

“Funny.”

“I’m serious.”

He looked up from his foot. “I thought you were joking.”

“Why would I be joking?”

He shook his head. “Uh, okay. My mom probably has some boots you could borrow.”

Juliette had to wear two pairs of socks to fit his mother’s boots and she also borrowed a scarf and a thick pair of gloves. Avery took two shovels from the mud room and she followed him outside. The driveway stretched out before them like a long road. Avery sighed. Growing up, he’d shoveled the drive for years, sometimes with Bren or sometimes just with his father. On a few occasions it had been all four of them lifting and moving snow until they were sweating inside their coats. Halfway through, his mother would call for a break, usher them inside and pass out steaming mugs of hot chocolate until their fingers thawed and they were ready to finish. Many hands make light work, his mother would say. Still, it was a job and he knew Juliette didn’t know how hard it’d be. Honestly, he’d been surprised she was serious about wanting to help. He couldn’t allow his father to do it alone though, he’d heard too many stories of older men having heart attacks from shoveling deep snow.

“Oof. It’s heavy!” Juliette balanced the shovel in her hands for a moment before she dumped the snow on the ground.

“Yeah, it’s wet snow. Come here.” He made her stand on the edge of the driveway so he could show her how to use the shovel to drive the snow forward. “It’s easier than lifting,” he said. “You’ll kill yourself like that.”

She glanced up at the long driveway and then back at him with a pained expression. “This is gonna take all day.”

He smiled and touched the tip of her nose with a gloved finger. “Welcome to my childhood. You don’t have to help, Juliette. I’m sure my dad will be out in a minute.”

“No, I can do it but…” she pushed the blade of the shovel forward a few steps. “This is the longest driveway ever.”

“I know. Looks even longer when you’re 10 years old and your sister is more interested in making snow angels than helping.”

She stood her shovel up, resting her arm on the handle as she adjusted her scarf. “What’s a snow angel?”

“You don’t know?” He stopped to stare at her. “I’ll show you when we take a break.”

The kept going, clearing the driveway slowly. Avery was beginning to wonder if his father was going to come out and help them at all. He finally heard the crunch of his father’s boots against the snow as he walked from the house to the garage. He went in through the side door and a few minutes later, the garage door lifted and his father pushed a snowblower out in front of him.

Avery almost dropped his shovel in surprise. “What the…when did you get a snowblower? I didn’t see that last night.”

His father shrugged. “Don’t know why you didn’t. It was sitting right there by the door.”

“You could have told me. We’ve been shoveling for twenty minutes.”

The older man leveled him with a look as he pulled on a pair of gloves. “You were the eager beaver that ran out here right after breakfast. I figured you wanted to impress Juliette with your shoveling skills.”

Juliette giggled, laughing so hard she did drop her shovel on the small patch of cement she’d cleared. Avery didn’t find it nearly as amusing as she did. He scooped up a fair amount of snow in his gloves, shaped it and then tossed it at her, hitting her square in the chest. She yelped as the snow splattered her face and then glared at him before breaking into a run.

Avery had mere seconds before she would have caught him and he took off across the back yard, laughing as she chased him into the thick snow. She was fast, especially for someone wearing a pair of boots that were too big. Still, she probably wouldn’t have caught him if he hadn’t slipped in the snow in the middle of the yard. He was already falling when she crashed into him, tackling him to the ground. He was breathless, still laughing as she sat up and dumped handfuls of snow into his face.

“Juliette!” He yelled her name, sputtering snow from his mouth. Avery grabbed the front of her coat and rolled them both over so that she was beneath him. He straddled her waist and leaned over, pinning her arms above her head. It had been his intention to get her back, to use his free hand to toss more snow in her face, but he stopped with his face just above hers. They were both breathing hard, still panting after the chase. But he had her now - or she had him. He couldn’t remember who had been chasing who. He lowered his head and kissed her, warming her lips as he pressed against her.

Avery could have stayed there forever, loving her until long after the snow melted. He’d have sheltered her with his body through seasons, through the thunderstorms of the spring until fresh blooms surrounded them. He’d have stayed through the heat of the summer until the earth cooled beneath them in the fall and next year’s winter buried them under a blanket of snow. If it weren’t for his lungs demanding a proper inhale, he may have never pulled away.


	10. Chapter 10

Several times now, Juliette had tried to let Avery go. First when he was with Scarlett and then again when she was carrying his child and most recently, just a few weeks before when he’d said he was happy with Layla. Three times before she’d accepted that he wasn’t meant to be hers. She’d made peace with it, even though each time it threatened to crack her soul in half. And now he was here, anchoring her to the ground and kissing her as if she were a rare, precious thing. It was gentle and yet hungry at the same time. It was achingly _familiar_.

Avery kissed her as he always had, as if he cherished her.

Their first kiss, if it must be counted as such, was drunken and one-sided; she would hardly remember it later but she would remember his infuriatingly calm rejection. She’d mulled over that the next day once her hangover faded away. He was an anomaly. Avery had saved her, stepping in to play after Deacon had bailed, but he didn’t expect anything from her. He didn’t want anything from her. It surprised her because in the years since her father died, Juliette hadn’t met many men that hadn’t wanted _something_ out of her.

Instead, Avery offered his friendship and she hadn’t realized how badly she’d been in need of one until they weren’t speaking. Missing him made her heart ache and if she’d have been more honest with herself, maybe she would have realized then that what she felt for him was a little more than friendship. Maybe.

It hadn’t been their time, which was just as well. By the time she’d made her way to his door with a casserole that never would get eaten, she’d gathered just enough courage to tell him how she really felt. She knew it was a gamble. He could reject her again just as kindly as he had done the first time and send her right back down the hall with that pink macaroni congealing in its container. In fact, she was partially afraid that he would do exactly that. But he hadn’t.

Their second kiss was definitely not one-sided. More passionate than anything else, but even then - always, there was an underlying tenderness in how he handled her. How he cradled her head with one hand before his lips touched hers and held her waist with his other. Later, she would come to realize that was just his way. Even if they were ripping each other’s clothes off, he made her feel loved and treasured.  

She’d never had that before and she thought she’d lost it all - for good this time. But he was there, kissing her in the backyard of his parents’ house with snow all around them. She’d been cold when they were shoveling but now all she could feel was his warmth, his lips as they pressed against hers, his tongue as it slipped into her mouth. Juliette opened herself to him like a flower turning to the sun, petals wide open in welcome. She held on to him, gripping the front of his coat as if he were a lifeline and when he pulled away she was breathless and thankful to be flat on her back because she thought her knees might have buckled if she’d been standing. She hadn’t realized tears had fallen from her eyes until his expression changed from pleased to confused and he touched the side of her face.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.” She shook her head and pulled the gloves off her fingers so she could reach for him. “You didn’t hurt me.” She held his face with her hands, rubbing her thumbs against his stubble. “I just love you, Avery. I love you.”

He gave her a radiant smile and kissed her nose. “I love you too.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not cruel enough to post that itty bitty chapter 10 by itself!

He taught her how to make a snow angel before they went back in the house. Her laugh echoed across the yard when he helped her up so she could turn around and look at it.

“Guess we were in a good position for that,” she said.

They held hands as they walked to the house, both of them waving at his father as he pushed the snow blower back up the driveway. He’d shaken his head at them and Avery chuckled. God only knew what he was thinking.

They went inside long enough to warm up and say goodbye to his mother and Cadence, who had been cruising on the living room furniture but dropped to her knees, squealing as she crawled towards them. She pulled up on Juliette’s leg, chanting, “Mama” until she was picked up.

“Hi, baby girl.” Juliette nuzzled her cheek before settling their daughter on her hip. “Are you having fun with your Nana?”

His mother had been sitting on the floor and she moved to get up, waving him off when he crossed the room to help her. “I tell you what, she’s a fast crawler.” She brushed her palms against each other. “Might want to get some baby gates while you’re here. Depending on how long you’ll be staying.”

Avery glanced at Juliette and she shrugged.

“Probably is a good idea,” he said. “The house isn’t exactly baby proofed.”

“Hasn’t been for many years,” his mother said with a laugh.

After several goodbye kisses and cuddles, Juliette handed their baby back to her grandmother and they left. He’d promised her a tour of the city and once that was done they stopped to get the baby gates and restock on diapers.

He waited until they were outside loading the bags into his vehicle before asking, “How long are we staying?” It was her decision and he knew his parents (or at least his mother) wouldn’t mind them staying a while, but he wasn’t sure how she was feeling. If she wanted, he figured they could leave the following day. There hadn’t been as much snowfall as predicted and the roads were already fairly clean.

“Do you need to get back to Nashville soon?” She worn a pair of sunglasses and a scarf inside the store and she fiddled with the end of her scarf. “For work or anything?”

“Work?” He asked, sliding both of the gates into the trunk of the SUV. “No, I - are you talking about Layla’s album?” She shrugged, rocking back on her heels. “Do you really think I’d keep working with her after everything she did?” He was tempted to pluck the sunglasses from her face so he could look directly into her eyes. She couldn’t really believe that.

“No, but I don’t know how much of it was completed. For all I know it could be--”

“It doesn’t matter, Juliette,” he interrupted. “I wouldn’t complete that album for all the money in the world. Not for anything.”

“Okay, Avery.” She gripped the handle of the cart and wheeled it around. “I’ll take this back,” she said over her shoulder as she walked away.

He waited by the passenger door until she came back, then opened the door so she could get inside. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, baby.” He leaned against the car and held the door open with one hand. “I’m sorry. But it makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what she did. I don’t even want my name on that album at all if I can help it.”

She slid her sunglasses off and set them in her lap. Her eyes were tinged green, an entirely different color than they’d been that morning on the porch. “Emily told me how hard it was for you financially when I was gone.” She looked away and stared through the windshield. “I don’t want you putting anything else on hold for me.”

“I’m not,” he said, moved by her concern. “This is what’s important to me right now. You and me and Cadence.” There was some money from working as band leader and he wouldn’t starve _this_ month, but regardless he meant what he said. He needed to talk to Rayna or Bucky, but no matter the consequences, Avery would have absolutely nothing to do with that album or Layla.

“So it’s okay if we stay for a while longer?” She glanced at him again. “I’m not ready to go back.”

“As long as you need.” He reached her for her and squeezed her fingers before closing her door.

* * *

 

Avery took her to his favorite metro park, a place he used to go when he needed to get away from home for whatever reason. He thought the snow might be too deep for them to walk the hiking trail but the tall oak and maple trees had sheltered the ground from a lot of the snow cover. They were able to make it to an overlook where he’d spent hours as a teenager, sitting beneath a tree with his guitar. He’d figured the birds and squirrels might have a better appreciation for his music than his father, who had gotten tired of hearing him playing the same chords over and over again until he’d mastered them. They didn’t stay for very long. Juliette hadn’t complained about the cold or mentioned the beach again, but he knew she’d probably had enough snow for a while.

 He took her to get hot chocolate before returning to his parents’. They chose a booth in the back of a local coffeeshop and when he returned to the table with their drinks, she’d taken off her coat.

“I can’t get used to this,” she said. “It’s freezing outside, but I’m burning up with all these clothes on.” She reached for the cup he’d just set on the table. “I don’t think anyone will see me way back here.”

He sat down across from her and took off his own coat and set it on the seat beside him. She was probably right; the coffeeshop was not brightly lit and she was facing the back wall of the building. He didn’t think paparazzi would spring out of the restroom to take pictures of them. _But you never know_ , he thought, bitterly remembering Layla’s idiotic attempt to gain stardom. He rolled his eyes and took a sip of hot chocolate.

“Tell me something you’ve never told me before.”

Juliette’s question surprised him and he had to think; there wasn’t much she didn’t already know. He mulled it over, trying to think of a story he’d hadn’t told her. “I told you how I used to sneak in my room through the window, right? I was about 16 and JT’s cousin knew a guy - JT always had a cousin that knew somebody. Anyway, the cousin got us a gig to front some grunge band in Youngstown, which is about an hour away. I was grounded, which was pretty much a regular thing by then, but no way was I gonna miss our first actual paying job. So after my parents went to bed I snuck out of my window and met JT on the other block. We get out there - way out in the sticks. Nothing but a makeshift stage in the middle of a lot somewhere.” He shook his head, thinking back to that night and how terrified and excited he’d been.

Her eyes grew large as she leaned in closer. “Don’t tell me something went wrong?”

“No, it was a great night,” he laughed. “One of the best nights I remember having before I left home. We played and then stayed and partied and ended up playing again. We were out there most of the night. By the time we were on our way home, all I could think about was how my dad was gonna nail my ass to the wall if he caught me. I got back home, climbed the tree and got in bed and I swear it wasn’t five minutes before he opened the door demanding I get up and help him clean the attic. I was exhausted. I spent all day swallowing yawns and taking breaks to drink coffee so he wouldn’t start asking why I was so tired.”

“He still doesn’t know?”

“You met my dad, Juliette. He’d probably want to ground me right now if he found out about that.” He took another sip of hot chocolate. “It was a good night though. That was the moment where I just knew that’s what I was supposed to be doing.”

“That was the night, huh?”

“It was. The rush of adrenaline, the crowd, the _music_. You know what I mean.”

“I do know.” She narrowed her eyes at him, staring for a few seconds. “You should do more of that then. Get out of the producer’s chair and get back up on stage.”

“With you?”

She shrugged. “I’m not opposed to it. You are the best lead guitar I’ve ever had - and don’t ever tell Deacon I said that - but I’m not asking for you to play for me. I’m talking about you performing. You love it. And I love watching you.”

A wide smile spread across his face. “Really?”

“Hell yeah. I’m your biggest fangirl.”

He laughed then, thinking of her watching him play as she had before at the Bluebird. He finished off his hot chocolate and stared at the empty cup. “I missed this.”

“What?”

“Talking to you like this. Used to be so easy to just…talk.”

She bit her lip, nodding a little as she fidgeted in her seat. “I miss it too. You were my best friend, Avery. More than that really. I think you were the first truly honest relationship I ever had with a man - maybe with anyone. I could tell you any stupid thing about me and you’d listen.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever told me anything that wasn’t completely fascinating.” He teased, but the next question was serious. “What else do you miss?”

“All of it,” she answered immediately. “Everything that was us. She slowly unwound the scarf from her neck and set it in her lap. “I miss the smell of you in bed with me. The way you used to kiss my shoulder every morning when we woke up and your stubble would tickle my neck.” Her smile was sad as she moved her eyes away from his. She took a deep breath before continuing. “I even miss all the things that used to annoy me, like how you left your shoes everywhere and sometimes ‘forgot’ to put the toilet seat back down.”

He gasped, pretending to be offended. “Juliette, I always put the toilet seat back down.”

“Avery. No, you don’t. I fell in a few days before I had Cadence. Remember? I woke up to use it and then I couldn’t get up and you had to--”

He burst into laughter, cutting her off mid-sentence. “Yeah, I had to help you up. I remember.” He kept chuckling, ignoring the murderous glare she was giving him. “I’m sorry. You’re right. That was completely my fault. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you scream that loud.”

“Yeah, well. The next time you fall in the toilet in the middle of the night, we’ll just see how loud you scream.”

“Fair enough. I don’t leave my shoes everywhere though.” She cocked her head to the side and gave him a look he knew too well. “Do I?” She nodded. “You’re such a neat freak, Juliette.” He kept talking before she could respond. “And that’s one of the things I missed. You nagging me about my shoes or whatever. Squeezing the toothpaste in the wrong spot.”

“Why in the world do you squeeze it from the middle? That’s just not right, Avery.”

He rolled his eyes. “But what I missed the most was your laugh. It always gave me so much joy to hear you laughing, especially when I was the reason behind it.”

“Aww,” she said. “I didn’t know that, Avery.”

“Yeah. I know a lot of times, when you’re doing interviews and things, it’s more for show, but when you’re really laughing, it’s such a beautiful thing. To be honest…” he hesitated, setting his empty cup aside and running a hand over his beard before continuing. “I was jealous when I saw pictures of you and Noah. I could tell you were really enjoying yourself with him and it - I know I had no right to feel that way, but…”

Juliette sighed and reached across the table for his hand. “I won’t lie to you, Avery. Noah was good to me. He made me feel something other than sadness when my heart was broken which wasn’t easy. But in the end, he wasn’t you. Even though I had let you go, I just wasn’t ready to move on the way he wanted and it wasn’t fair to him that every time we were together made me miss you more and more.”

“At least you were able to be honest with yourself about how you felt.”

“What do you mean?”

He sat up, pressing his back against the booth. “You didn’t stay in it, hoping you could force yourself to feel something for him.”

“Is that what you did?” She asked.

“I told you I’ve been an idiot. I don’t know what I was thinking. I _wasn’t_ thinking.” He stared at the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. “It was a mistake. The whole thing. You are the love of my life, Juliette. I was fooling myself to think that she - that any woman, could ever mean anything to me.”

She came around to his side of the booth and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t want to talk about either one of them anymore.”

“Agreed.” He kissed her forehead. “Tell me something you’ve never told me.”

“You know all my stories, Avery.”

“There’s gotta be at least one more Juliette Barnes adventure that I don’t know about.”

She drummed her fingers on the table. “Okay. Lemme think. Did I ever tell you about my first apartment?” He shook his head. “Glenn helped me get it. It was a teeny little one-bedroom with a kitchenette and the bedroom window faced a brick wall and it had really terrible water pressure. He said it was temporary and when I actually signed with a label I could move into something bigger. I got the keys and went inside and shut the door and just ran around in circles, jumping up and down and crying and laughing.” She giggled. “Probably looked like a stone fool but I didn’t have to worry about who had come home with Mama or if there was gonna be food in the fridge because I knew.” She finished off the rest of the hot chocolate in her cup. “I don’t think I ever turned the stove on in that apartment.”

“That I believe.”

She bumped his shoulder. “I had a microwave and a coffeemaker that got a workout though.”

“Don’t doubt it.”

“I didn’t mind being alone then,” she said quietly. “I can’t stand it now.”

Avery put an arm over her shoulder. “Then it’s a good thing you’ve got a family that loves you. You’ll never be alone again.” He touched her chin, turning her face so he could look into her eyes. “That’s a promise.”


	12. Chapter 12

Reviews welcome!

* * *

 

Avery opened the side door, allowing Juliette to walk in before him while he followed behind with the baby gates. They shed their outerwear in the mud room and went further into the house.

Juliette had the package of diapers jammed under an arm and held their bags from the store. “I’m gonna take these upstairs,” she said. He nodded and she turned to walk down the hall but then stopped in front of the doorway to the living room. “Aww.” She’d lowered her voice to almost a whisper. “Avery, look.”

He stepped beside her and peeked in the room. His father was stretched out on the couch, dead to the world and snoring like a hibernating bear. Cadence slept on his chest, her little body rising and falling with the rhythm of his breath.

“How sweet is that?” Juliette whispered.

“How in the world is she sleeping with all that noise?” Avery asked. He was impressed.

She shrugged. “No idea.”

They stood there, taking in the scene. He shifted the two baby gates he held, ready to put them down. Juliette touched his arm and stopped him.

“Wait. Listen.”

Avery held still, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He couldn’t hear anything besides his father.

“Do you hear it?” she asked.

He shook his head, then furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. His father exhaled and in the seconds of silence before he took a breath Avery made out a smaller sound, a tiny snort from their daughter. “She’s snoring too,” he said, glancing at Juliette.

“She is.” She nodded, her smile turning into a quiet laugh. “That is just too cute.”

She walked away; he could hear the stairs creaking as she went up to his room. He set the baby gates down, gently propping them against the doorframe so he wouldn’t make any noise, although his father and daughter slept so soundly he kind of doubted it would matter.

He watched them, noting that his father napped the same way he always had. Legs crossed at the ankle and a pillow wedged under his feet. There was another decorative pillow under his head and he’d folded one arm so his head rested on his hand. Many a night Avery could remember his father having fallen asleep on the couch while the TV blared in the background. The only difference from back then was that his other arm rested on Cadence’s back, holding her still so she wouldn’t fall to the floor. Somehow, he looked peaceful even though he snored to wake the dead.

When Avery had stayed with his parents before, his father hadn’t really been involved with Cadence. He’d held her a few times, but mostly watched as his wife and son interacted with her. Avery figured his hesitance was because the baby had been so young and still small. She’d grown quite a bit in the months since, but he hadn’t expected to find them napping together. He thought his father would be content watching until she was older, walking at least. He cleared his throat, swallowing over the lump that had formed as he stood in the middle of the room. He slid his phone out of his pocket and focused the camera on them, wanting to capture the moment.

A flash of movement caught his attention and he turned around to see his mother in the hallway. She used one arm to balance a clothesbasket on her hip and the other to motion for him to follow her as she went into the kitchen.

“How long have they been asleep?” He asked, watching as she set the basket on the table.

“Little while now,” she said, abandoning the clothes to go to the stove. She lifted the lid on a large pot and peered inside. “He was watching her while I got dinner started and then next thing I knew I heard the chainsaws.” She laughed, but then glanced at the clock on the stove. “Is it too late for her to have a nap? Should we wake them up?”

“Don’t bother,” Avery said, crossing the room to stand next to the table. “Her schedule’s been off ever since we were on the tour.”

“Hmm, I imagine it was hard to keep her on a schedule with all that was going on.” She sat down at the table and pulled a dishcloth from the basket to fold. “Where’s Juliette?”

“Upstairs. She might be catching up on some phone calls. Her manager called earlier and she wanted to get back with him.” He pulled a towel from the basket and folded it, setting it on the stack his mother had started.

“How is she doing?”

“She’s good. Better today. She was worried about the snowstorm.”

“Good. I want her to be comfortable here.” She grabbed another towel from the basket and started to fold it, but then let her hands fall to her lap as she looked up at him. “How are you, Avery?” Her fingers worried the fabric she held. “We haven’t talked that much since Juliette got out of treatment. And I know what happened with her plane had to be scary for you too.”

“It was,” he nodded. He pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. “It was terrifying to think that maybe I’d never see her again. Or if I did it’d be at her funeral.” He sat forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I was praying so hard for Cadence not to lose her mother. That would have been so unfair, you know? They’d had so little time together. And I regretted everything that happened with us.” He shook his head against the tears that came to him anytime he thought of that night could have played out if her pilot hadn’t been able to make a miraculously safe crash landing. “I didn’t mean to shut you out, Mom.”

“Obviously you don’t have to tell me everything. I don’t expect that at all. But I…you’re my son. I worry about you.”

“I know.” He rubbed his chin, flicking at the stubble with his fingers. “When she came home, I was so angry with her. I just reacted. I made horrible decisions. The tour, Layla.” He sighed, hesitantly meeting his mother’s eyes. “I rushed into things and Cadence suffered because of that.” His father had always accused him of going off half-cocked and making foolish decisions. _Well, what’d you think was gonna happen?_   His father’s was the voice he heard echoing in his head after every major screw-up of his adult life. Breaking up with Scarlett and getting involved with Marilyn. Choosing the slick promise of fame over long-time friends and his failed record deal, which lead to him burning his masters and being blacklisted as a performer. Now he could add joining that stupid tour, which was still wrecking havoc on Cadence’s sleep schedule. And Layla Grant. God knows she deserved a special place of honor, the preeminent fuck-up in what was getting to be a lengthy list of them.

“You’re not perfect, Avery.”

“I know, but those decisions could have cost her - cost both of them their last few weeks of time together.”

His mother dropped the towel in her lap and put a hand on his arm. “You’re not perfect,” she said again. “We make mistakes. You did what you thought was best at the time, right? That’s all you can do.”

“Most of the time I did,” he agreed. “But it’s not just about perfection. Juliette takes all this on by herself. It’s as if she feels like the PPD was hers and so everything that came after was an extension of that but I hurt her too. If I apologize to her for any part of it she kind of brushes it off or justifies what I did. It bothers me.”

“And what did she say when you told her how you felt?”

“I didn--” His words broke off when he noticed his mother raising her eyebrows as if she’d expected his answer. Of course she had. “I don’t want her to think - I don’t know. Maybe it’s a part of her therapy to take on responsibility this way.”

“Maybe. But it could be that she doesn’t want you to beat yourself up over the choices you made. There’s no sense in it, for either one of you.” She got up from the table and checked the pot again and then turned the dial on the stove.

“I realize that, Mom. I just want us to be honest with each other now so we can have a chance to put it all behind us. I want us to learn what we can from this and keep moving forward.”

“That’s reasonable.” His mother stood with her back to him, cutting a round of cornbread into wedges. “You know what I’m going to say.”

 _Talk to her_. “I will.” He stood up and walked over to take a chance and snag a piece of cornbread for himself.

His mother smacked his hand lightly. “Avery, don’t you start with that. Never could wait to sit down and eat at the table.”

“Because you make the best cornbread.” He savored the bite, warm and buttery with the crispy edges that he loved. Avery put his arms around his mother, surprising her with a hug. “Thanks, Mom. For everything.” He pulled back to look in her eyes. “I appreciate both of you, but I’m also very thankful that _we_ can talk. You’ve been so supportive through this whole thing.”

“Well, of course, sweetheart,” she said. “But you’re still not getting another piece of that cornbread until dinner.”


	13. Chapter 13

Juliette stared down at the screen on her phone, her finger hovering over the Twitter icon. She almost touched it but then sighed and set the phone on the bed beside her. Emily had told her that fan reaction over the last few days hadn’t been completely negative but still, her assistant warned her not to look. She knew what would happen if she did; she wouldn’t be able to stop. If she read one, she’d read all of them, all the negative tweets with hashtags and memes that made light of her life. It would crush her like it had every single time she’d had a public scandal. And what had happened with Jeff and her suicide attempt and then Layla’s scheming to expose it - all of it was so much larger than a pilfered bottle of nail polish. It was bigger than her mother and Dante; at least that hadn’t been by her hand. This was devastating enough to end it all. But if that were the case and everything did disappear, Juliette didn’t want her career to end on such a sour note. She didn’t want gossip and tragedy to be her legacy.

“Hey.”

Avery’s voice startled her and she looked up from the floor, her eyes widening in surprise. “Oh, hey.”

“I just came up to ask if you were hungry.” He pushed the door open a little more and stepped inside, one hand on knob as he leaned against the wall. “Did you talk to Glenn?”

She shook her head. “No, I was going to but Luke called and then Emily wanted to check in.”

“Is everything okay?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Uh, well,” she stammered. “Luke wants me to go back out on tour. As my labelhead he thinks that’s the best move for me right now.” She answered the question he hadn’t had a chance to ask. “Layla’s gone. Luke said she quit before he got the chance to drop her. I don’t know what happened but at least that wouldn’t be an issue.”

Avery nodded slowly. “And you’re thinking about it.”

It sounded more like an accusation than a question and Juliette turned away from him, focusing on the floor again. She knew he wouldn’t like the idea. He probably hated it. “I don’t know.” She squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Avery, can you…I need a few minutes to call Glenn and get this all figured out.” He hesitated, slowly twisting the door knob with his fingers. “Please. I’ll come down soon.”

“Yeah,” he said. He closed the door behind him, leaving her alone.

She sat on the bed for a few minutes before picking up the phone to call Glenn. She expected him to agree with Luke about the tour and he did.

“As your manager, I think he’s right. Getting back out there right away is probably a good idea. Luke’s headlining and his album is doing great. It’s not like before when it was your tour that people were boycotting. But,” he took a breath, inhaling and exhaling quickly before continuing. “What’s good for your career might not be in your best interest right now. Honey, listen. You want my advice?”

Juliette knew the question was rhetorical. Glenn had never hesitated to offer his counsel, even when she hadn’t wanted it. “Of course I do.”

“Take this time off. You need it. I’m speaking as your friend and as someone who loves you.”

Her lips quirked into a slight smile even as her eyes sparked with tears. “I love you too, Glenn, but I can’t just sit on Luke’s label and do nothing.”

“Let me handle that,” he said firmly. “That’s what I’m here for.”

She fell back on the bed and closed her eyes. “Thank you.”

“Have you given any thought to O Magazine? You don’t have to do that either, but if you’re going to, the interview needs to happen soon in order to meet their deadline.”

Juliette put her fingers to her forehead, trying to soothe away the tension in her temple.  “I’m still thinking about that.”

“That’s fine,” he said. “Let me know by the end of the weekend. When are you coming back, by the way?”

“Glenn, you keep asking me questions I don’t know the answer to.” She made no attempt to keep the whine out of her voice.

“All  right, kiddo. Take it easy and we’ll talk later.”

“Bye.”  She dropped the phone on the bed and lay there a moment longer, staring up at the ceiling.

She thought back to the first show she’d done on Luke’s tour and how she was somehow able to give a world class show even under the effects of PPD and heavy amounts of alcohol, but she’d felt horrible afterwards and sat in her dressing room alone, staring at a picture of Avery and Cadence on her phone. When she returned to the tour after rehab and treatment for the post-partum, she’d been nervous and worried that the horrible memories of what had happened on that rooftop would taint the rest of the tour. But the fans had welcomed her back enthusiastically and after she stepped off the stage Glenn had wrapped his arms around her shoulders and told her how proud he was. She’d thought there was a chance everything would work out. She’d get to see her daughter and perform and she’d hoped that she and Avery would grow closer. Hadn’t taken very long for all of that to fall apart. Returning to the tour for a third time was not what she wanted and she was thankful Glenn didn’t try to pressure her into doing it. Layla’s sudden disappearance would kick the crew gossip mill into overtime and that was one more headache she didn’t need. She also didn’t want to take the chance that Luke’s tour would suffer because she was on it. His association with her could hurt him just as it had HW65 and Juliette didn’t want to cause any more damage than she already had.

She left her phone on the bed and headed downstairs even though she didn’t think she could eat. She didn’t want to be rude, but trying to figure out the puzzle of her career had left her stomach in knots. The smell of something rich and hearty wafted up the stairs as she came down and her stomach immediately growled in response. _Guess I am hungry_ , she thought as she entered the kitchen.

Her in-laws had already finished eating. Carl had left the kitchen and Avery’s mother rummaged in the cabinet, pulling out several plastic storage containers. “Juliette,” she said. “I was just about to put some beef stew to the side for you. I can fix you some if you want.”

“Yes, thank you. And I’m sorry I missed eating with everyone,” she said. “I didn’t mean for that to take as long as it did.” She glanced at Avery as she sat down next to Cadence’s high chair. “Glenn said hi.” She watched as he fed Cadence a spoonful of stew from his bowl.

“Did you get it all worked out?”

She could see the worry in his eyes as he looked at her. “I’m not going back,” she said softly. She turned to Cadence, leaning in so she could kiss her daughter’s forehead. “I’ve missed you today, baby girl. What have you been up to, besides napping with your grandpa?”

Sandra served her a bowl of stew and a piece of cornbread. “She almost took a step earlier. Carl had her hippo and she was trying to get to it but then she decided to crawl instead.”

“Aww.” Juliette clucked her tongue. “She loves that little hippo. Hasn’t put it down since she got it.”

“Poe?” Cadence looked at her mother and then her grandmother as if asking where her toy was.

“Finish your dinner, baby, and then you can have it.” Juliette picked up her spoon and inhaled. She felt as if she could dive into the warmth of her bowl. The stew was delicious, exactly what she wanted after spending so much time outside. The weather had worn her out and she couldn’t help but think again of the beach. Heat was exhausting, she knew that from spending her childhood in a stuffy trailer with no air conditioner, but she hadn’t known the cold could have the same effect. She finished the last of the stew and rested the handle of the spoon against the edge of her bowl.

“Tired?” Avery asked.

“A little.” At her nod, Avery got up and took both of their empty bowls to the counter.  

“She probably needs a diaper change.” He lifted Cadence from the high chair. “Come on, Princess.”

Avery left the room with the baby and his mother wiped the table where he’d been sitting. “Juliette, I wanted to ask you if you’d mind if Carl and I took Cadence to visit family on Saturday. Some of them have never met Cadence.” Sandra pushed crumbs from the table onto her palm and then glanced up at her. “You’re more than welcome to come along too. I just thought you might not be comfortable with that.”

“I don’t have a problem with that at all. I think she’d love it.” She hesitated, breaking the last piece of cornbread in half as she stalled. “I really appreciate the invitation but…”

“You want to lie low.” Sandra finished the sentence as she turned away. “It’s fine.” She brushed the crumbs from her hands and into the trash can.

She finished her cornbread, then stood up and tossed her napkin in the trash. Sandra stood next to her, briskly wiping down the counters. Juliette reached out, hesitantly resting her fingers on the older woman’s hand.  “Thank you,” she said. “You’ve been so welcoming. I keep wanting to apologize to you for all of this. I feel like it’s my fault that Cadence hasn’t met her family and I would never want that for her.”

“I know that,” Sandra said, turning her hand so she could squeeze Juliette’s fingers. “That’s not your fault, Juliette. Avery didn’t feel much like being bothered when he was here.”

“That is my fault,” she insisted. “That he and Cadence were here and not with me. Sandra, I want her to have her family, all of it. I never had one when I was growing up and it’s so important to me that y’all are involved in her life.”

Sandra nodded, pursing her lips before pulling Juliette into a hug. “I’m glad to hear you say that, but you don’t have to apologize to me,” she said as she stepped away. She leaned one hip against the counter and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I wanted to come down and help when she was born, but I didn’t want to be that overbearing mother-in-law and I figured you’d have so much help, you know, being…” She didn’t finish her sentence, but Juliette got her point. “I wish I would have at least asked. I know how hard it is to be a young mother, even if you have a support system in place. Since I didn’t offer before, I will now. If you ever need anything, Juliette, I’m here.”

“Thank you.” Once again tears pricked at her eyes, but Juliette smiled at her former mother-in-law. “I’d have loved it if you’d have been there when she was born. It was overwhelming, to say the least, and to be honest I can’t really remember how much of that was due to my post-partum and how much was normal. Now I just really want to enjoy motherhood. It’ll be nice to talk to another woman who’s been through it. Her birthday is coming up soon, but if not then, any time you want to come spend time with your granddaughter, my door is open. To both of you.” She added the last belatedly, but sincerely. Her former father-in-law could be prickly - and that was generous - but she’d put up with him for her daughter’s sake.

Sandra patted her hand and gave her a smile that reminded Juliette so much of both Avery and Cadence that it caught her off guard. “I’m gonna take you up on that,” she said.

“Please do.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably the last chapter I get to before the season starts up again next week. Here's to hoping it has lots of happy Javery! Reviews welcome!

Avery decided to give Cadence her bath instead of going back downstairs. He’d placed her in a laundry basket that was set in the tub. He’d read a tip in a parenting magazine about using a basket so she wouldn’t slide around the full bathtub and it did make things a little easier but just to be safe, he kept a hold on her with one hand as he bathed her with the other. He was on his knees, elbows on the lip of the tub and arms in the water. The strain of kneeling in that position was killing his back but Cadence was enjoying herself so much that he let her linger longer than he normally would have. She loved bathtime; she liked to splash, to reach for a cluster of bubbles floating nearby or dunk her rubber ducks beneath the water so they bobbed up again. She chattered as he washed her, giggling and flailing her legs when he tickled her feet under the water.  Avery gave her the washcloth and she put it on her head, then closed her eyes and sputtered as the water ran down her face.

He chuckled, squeezing the towel out so he could wipe her face. “Are you trying to help me wash your hair?” She opened her eyes and blinked up at him, her long eyelashes appearing even darker since they had gotten wet. It made her eyes resemble Juliette’s in shape if not color. He poured a dollop of baby shampoo on the top of her head and lathered until she had a crown of suds.

“Hey.” Juliette walked in behind him. “There you two are.” She crouched next to the tub, glancing at him before turning to Cadence. “Look at you,” she said to their daughter. “Princess Bubbles.”

Cadence grasped the head of a rubber duck and held it upside down, offering it to her mother. “Duh,” she said, waving it in the air.

“Duck, that’s right.” Juliette said. “What do duckies say, Cadence? Quack quack.” She put the duck back in the water and motored it over to the baby while continuing to quack.

“You want to finish?” Avery asked.

“Sure.”

She moved her hand to support Cadence’s back and he stood up and stretched, folding his arms across his chest as he watched Juliette rinse their daughter’s hair. She was careful, tilting the baby backwards so the shampoo wouldn’t drip into her eyes as the water poured over her head. Cadence kept babbling, squeezing the rubber duck so that water squirted from the bottom, soaking the front of her mother’s shirt.

“Oh, good grief, girl,” she said. “How does that keep happening to Mama, huh? You do that every time.”

The sound of her laugh and Cadence’s answering giggle should have made him happy; it was a scene he’d only hoped to see after Juliette abandoned them, but he was too worried about her to really enjoy it. He’d thought that as she’d gotten better, she’d grown past the reckless need to chase stardom regardless of the consequences. She’d been sick the last time she’d put her career first but it had ended in disaster for them. Though she’d ultimately decided not to return to Luke’s tour, it was upsetting that she’d considered it at all when it was clear, at least to him, that it was a terrible idea. And she hadn’t even bothered to talk to him about it. She’d dismissed him - not unkindly, but asking him to leave her alone so she could talk things over with Glenn amounted to the same thing.

“Do you have a towel?” Juliette asked as she lifted Cadence from the tub. He handed it to her and she wrapped it around the baby, using the end to cover their daughter’s head like a hood. She walked to the sink and pointed to the mirror above it. “Who is that?” She asked. “Who’s that little girl?” Cadence peeked out from under the towel and pointed along with her mother. “That’s you, baby. You and Mama.”

Avery knelt back down to let the water out of the tub. He wanted to talk to her - talk and not argue, but realized it might be better to wait. With her late nap, Cadence wasn’t likely to fall asleep any time soon and it would probably be a long night for both of them.

“I’m gonna get her in a diaper before she goes,”Juliette said.

He nodded his head but kept his back turned and soon heard her footsteps as she left. He took his time cleaning up, wringing the water from the washcloth and gathering the toys in a mesh bag. When he left the bathroom, he could hear Juliette singing to Cadence as he walked towards his old room. He chose to stand just inside the doorway. She’d laid the baby on the bed, diapered her and started massaging lotion onto her legs.

“Look at these pretty feet.” She put one of the baby’s feet in her mouth and gummed her toes. “I could just eat you up.” Both she and Cadence laughed and she looked up at Avery, frowning when she saw his face. “Are you okay? You’ve been kinda quiet since dinner.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he leaned against the doorframe, hesitant to bring it up while Cadence was still awake, but he wouldn’t lie. “Did Glenn talk you out of it?”

“Out of what?” She gave him a confused glance. “The tour? No, he didn’t have to talk me out of it.” She dressed Cadence in her pajamas, tucking her chubby arms through the flannel sleeves of the one-piece. “I didn’t want to go back, Avery, but I had to consider what Luke was saying about how all of this impacts my career.” She stood, settling the baby on her hip. “I can probably think of twenty reasons why jumping back on that tour isn’t a good idea and you and Cadence are at the top of the list. I think I just needed to hear someone say I didn’t have to do it.”

She swayed, rocking the baby with her hips, and reached up to rub at her forehead. The gesture made him remember that she’d said she was tired and part of him wanted to let it go. After all, she hadn’t rejoined the tour and they were together, which he thought was a miracle after everything they’d been through. But there was another part of him that couldn’t let it rest without saying, “Babe, I get that you’re struggling with your next move but I wish you would have talked to me.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make it seem as if your opinion doesn’t matter. It does. Very much. But…”

At her hesitation he left the doorway and came inside the room, closing the door behind him. “But what?”

“I don’t…” She moved her eyes away from him as she trailed off, choosing to look down at Cadence instead.

“What?” he asked, stepping closer. She didn’t respond and he tipped her chin up with his fingers, surprised to see she had tears in her eyes. “Baby? Tell me.”

“I didn’t want to burden you with all this.”

“What do you mean?”

She stepped away to put Cadence in the crib, watching her for a moment before she turned back to him. “I’m trying to think of everything - what’s good for Cadence and for us and my career. It’s a lot to deal with and I didn’t want to put anything on you if I didn’t have to.”

“It’s not a burden, Juliette. I just want you to think about _you_. Not Juliette Barnes the superstar.”

She sighed. “But don’t you see that it’s all tied up together? I don’t know what’s going to happen with my career. Maybe this will be the final straw for the fans. And if it is really over, I don’t know where that leaves me. I don’t want this to be the way I’m remembered.” Her voice wavered as she spoke. “I’ve been thinking about her,” she said, gesturing to Cadence. “What will this look like to her when she’s older? Her grandmother killed a man and herself and then a man died saving her mother from committing suicide. I don’t want her to think that I…” she trailed off, taking one more glance at their daughter before looking up at him. “That I wasn’t strong enough to want to live for her. That’s what I wanted from Mama, for her to be strong for _me_. And she _never_ was, not until the end.”

“Juliette.” Avery pulled her into his arms and held her, rubbing her back until she stepped back. “Come here.” He sat on the bed and patted the mattress, waiting until she sat down. “This is a lot,” he agreed. He reached for her hand, warming her fingers with his. “Unfortunately, Cadence probably will find out about all of this one day. Nothing disappears anymore and as much as I wish we could, we can’t change any of it. But I don’t believe she’ll think of you as anything but strong. You were sick and she’ll understand that. She’ll be as thankful as I am that Jeff saved you and that you were able get help.” He shifted, moving close enough to bump knees with her. “There’s a lot of uncertainty for both of us but I don’t think this is the end for you, Juliette. Your sincerity will count with your true fans. I believe that. Whatever happens with our careers, we’ll face it together. Don’t feel like you need to spare me. You were my best friend too and I want that part of our relationship back. I cherished that about us. We’ve gotta be honest with each other.”

She nodded and reached out for another hug. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he said.

“Well, two things. I still need to check-in with Dr. Kitley every so often. Would you be okay with taking part in…”

“In your therapy? Yes, absolutely,” he said. “I’ll support you in whatever way you need me.” He pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. “What else?”

“Stay with us tonight?”

He smirked. “I was gonna do that anyway, babe.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little stuck on Our Past Asunder, but things are moving ahead over here. Just a few more chapters to go. Reviews are welcome as always!

Avery and Juliette finished the lullaby, holding their breath as their daughter finally closed her eyes and fell asleep. “Thank God.” Avery kept his voice low as he backed away from the crib. “She fights sleep like a champ.” He tucked Cadence’s hippo under his arm, watching as Juliette leaned over to adjust the blanket over their daughter.

“Night, Monkey,” she whispered. “No more late naps with Grandpa.” She stood and ran her fingers through her hair, gathering the strands into a ponytail. “It’s after 11.”

“Her schedule is still off from touring.”

Juliette nodded, securing her hair with an elastic. “Yeah, I get that. How do we fix it? Because two books and four songs? I’ve done shorter shows while on tour.” She flounced on the bed, easily catching the stuffed animal he tossed her way.

“That was the first time we’ve sang to her since she was tiny,” he reminded her. “Think she tried her best to stay up and listen even though she was tired.”

Her face softened and she glanced at the sleeping baby. “I didn’t think about that,” she said, more than a hint of sadness in her voice. She moved, scooting backwards on the bed until her back was against the headboard.

“We’ll just have to do it more often,” Avery said. “But hopefully not four songs every night. When we get back to Nashville we can get her back on a regular schedule.” He stretched out next to her, lying on his back with his head at the opposite end of the bed. “Her internal clock is all screwed up.”

“Is that what it is?” She threw the hippo on his stomach. “Remember when we wrote that lullaby? Took less than an hour. It came together so easily.”

“It did,” he agreed, tossing the animal up in the air. “You’re a great songwriter, Juliette. And even if - worst case scenario, you’d always have that.”

She shrugged, moving so she was sitting cross-legged. “I guess so.”

Avery tossed the toy in the air and caught it. “You want to act again?”

“Eh, maybe one day. I did enjoy it. Maybe not a biopic next time.”

“What about a TV show? Nashville’s answer to The View.”

“Seriously?” She raised her eyebrows and barked out a laugh. “Avery, I’d be bored out of my mind.”

“Okay. What about a cooking show? You could make your infamous…” He choked over the words, speaking through a laugh, “…pink macaroni.”

“You couldn’t even say it with a straight face, could you?” She hit his leg playfully. “That’s more Rayna’s speed, don’t you think? If she ever retired from Highway 65.”

He tossed the toy in the air again. “You might be right.”

“I could just see her in the kitchen wearing a sequined apron and fixing a big ol’ plate of Deacon Claybourne’s favorite liver and onions.”

Avery snatched the hippo out of the air by its leg. “Deacon likes liver?” He raised his head to look at her. “Gross.”

“That’s not the point,” she laughed. “Which is, none of these things are me, Avery.”

“I know, but we were talking worst case options.”

She played with the drawstring on her pajama pants, wrapping it tightly around one finger. “Worse case, I wouldn’t even be able to do any of that stuff without a serious PR campaign.” She unwrapped her finger. “Anyway, enough about me. What about you? Since we’re talking worst case stuff.”

“I’ve already been to that hell. Commercial jingles.” He squeezed his eyes closed at the memory. “Producing Layla seemed like a godsend at the time. Little did I know.” The mattress shifted as Juliette changed positions and when he opened his eyes, she was next to him. “Avery.” She touched his cheek. “I’m so sorry she used you like that. I know you thought she was genuine.”

He winced and reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers as he moved it away from his face. “That’s on her, Juliette.”

She frowned. “I know, but she wanted to get to me and I hate that you got hurt behind it.”

“I should have believed you when you told me about her before. She just seemed so…nice.” He rolled his eyes, once again infuriated when he thought of Layla. “Guess that was the point. All part of the con.”

She smoothed her hand over his t-shirt. “I know what it feels like to have someone to trick you into thinking they care when they really don’t. Hurts like hell.”

He shook his head. “What hurts is that I chose her after you told me how you felt.”

She scooted even closer, putting her hip against his. “It’s okay, Avery. We don’t have to…”

“Don’t do that,” he interrupted. “It is not okay. I know that had to hurt after everything you said to me.”

She was quiet for a moment, staring at him with an unreadable expression. “It did,” she finally admitted. “It really did. But I’ve hurt you so much too.”

“Stop.” Avery whispered the word fiercely, mindful of their daughter sleeping just a few feet away. He sat up, putting his hands on her upper arms. “Juliette, you’re not the only one who has done wrong here.” He leveled her with his gaze, praying that she would understand. “There are so many things I wish I would have done differently. I made decisions that hurt all three of us. Let me be responsible for my half of this. I want to apologize to you and every time you excuse what I’ve done, it makes me feel like - it feels as if you’re not hearing me.”

“I hear you,” she said immediately. “I do hear you, babe.”

“Do you? Then you know how sorry I am that I couldn’t save you from all of this?” He swallowed over the lump in his throat, eyes burning with the sudden tears in his eyes. “You were the dearest thing in my world, you and her. My girls. And I couldn’t help you.” She pulled him close, wrapping her arms around his neck and he spoke over her shoulder. “I can’t give you back that time with our baby, sweetheart, and I’m sorry.” His voice broke over the words and he exhaled unevenly.

“Avery.” She squeezed him tighter before pulling back and pressing a kiss to his temple. “Oh, baby. If I was dismissive I apologize. And you’re right. I missed out on a lot of her life, but that’s something you can help me with. Do you have pictures?”

“Yeah.” Avery sniffed, wiping his face as he got up to grab his phone. He turned off the light and got back on the bed, sitting back against the headboard and fiddling with his phone as she settled next to him. He opened his photo app and scrolled through, showing her all the pictures and videos he’d taken from months before.

For the first time, Juliette saw her daughter rolling over, playing with toys, and learning how to crawl. She laughed at a video of Will feeding Cadence her first taste of lemon. He had one of Gunnar playing airplane with her until she puked on his shoes. She awwed watching Avery hold their daughter and point to the camera. _“Blow kisses, Princess,”_ he said to the baby. _“Tell Scarlett bye.”_ Cadence put a hand to her mouth, blowing a sloppy kiss as she waved and grinned at the camera.

“That wasn’t too long ago,” he said, using his thumb to flick the video away. “Scarlett sent it to me.” He showed her the rest, ending with the video he’d taken of their daughter asleep on the couch with his father. “Think that’s it.”

“Thank you for that.”

Her smile was illuminated by the phone, but she’d gotten emotional a few times and he knew it hadn’t been easy to see their daughter grow through pictures and videos when she’d missed it in real life. “Why don’t we take her outside tomorrow and let her play in the snow for a little bit.”

“Good idea.” She yawned. “I’m tired, babe.” He moved so she could pull the covers back and she gave him a quick kiss before lying down. “‘Night.”

“Goodnight, hon.” He rubbed her arm as she fell asleep, thinking about his family. They couldn’t replace what was gone but they could make new memories.


	16. Chapter 16

Cadence woke up wet, cranky and far too early. Juliette had been dreaming of the beach but the imagined sounds of waves and seagulls quickly faded as her daughter’s fussing turned into an outright wail.  A diaper change only upset her even more and Avery shifted, mumbling as he sat up but Juliette shooed him back to sleep. “I got her.” He didn’t say another word, just fell back on the sheets and rolled to his side. She put the baby over her shoulder and Cadence rubbed her face in the crease of her mother’s neck as she continued to cry. “What’s wrong, baby girl?” She asked. “You shouldn’t even be awake.”  She rubbed circles on her daughter’s back, but Cadence refused to be comforted. “You’re gonna wake up the whole house,” she muttered. Juliette glanced back at Avery and decided to leave the room so the baby’s cries wouldn’t disturb anyone else.

She was careful on the way down the creaking stairs, juggling Cadence with one arm while she trailed the banister with her hand. Though it was dark, Juliette found the living room easily and began pacing the floor, shushing her daughter as she walked. She started talking to the baby, keeping her voice low and Cadence’s cries quieted at the sound of her mother’s voice. It was something she’d learned while in treatment, one of the bonding exercises Dr. Kitley made her do when she and her daughter were first reunited. At first Juliette had been self-conscious about it, especially since the doctor would be in the room listening, but she desperately wanted to bond with her child and she knew she couldn’t let her embarrassment get in the way.

She’d talked to Cadence all the time when she was carrying her. Before Avery had forgiven her, she’d been extremely lonely and talking to her bump had been a welcome distraction from thinking about how much her ex hated her. It was easy to tell the baby all about Glenn and Emily, her career and the movie she was making. She talked a lot about whatever she happened to be craving and often asked her unborn baby for her opinion on meals. “What do you feel like eating?” she’d ask, rubbing her stomach affectionately. After she and Avery were married Juliette was finally able to tell their daughter how good of a father he’d be without breaking into tears.

It was different after Cadence was born. The post-partum depression muted her love and Juliette would stare in her daughter’s beautiful blue eyes and not be able to say anything at all. She was afraid of saying the wrong thing like her own mother had often done and somehow ruining her child. She was afraid if she opened her mouth she might start screaming.

So when her daughter first came to visit her at the treatment facility, they started off with the kind of dull chitchat Juliette hated amongst adults. Boring prattle about the weather, how her day had been going and of course, food. Dr. Kitley reminded her that it didn’t really matter what the topic was, the point was for them to learn how to communicate with each other. Cadence was a rapt audience and if she was happy during her visits she’d chime in, keeping up her end of the conversation with gurgles and lots of hand waving. Even if she wasn’t happy, often times she’d still quiet down enough to listen, almost as if she could understand her mother’s words.

In the past few weeks, Juliette had taken to telling her stories, the fairy tales she could remember or the broken bits of the ones she couldn’t. She told her daughter about her childhood, but only the good parts - Miss Carrie’s peanut butter cookies, singing with her mama, and the first time she’d seen the ocean on a road trip to Mobile that one of Jolene’s less grimy boyfriends had surprised them with.

“We’ll take you one day,” she promised as she continued a slow walk through the dark living room. “Mama and Daddy will take you to the beach so you can see the water stretching out as far as the sky. The sand will be grainy on your little toes and there are shells and sand dollars and all kinds of treasures to find. The air smells like salt and the ocean is like a big, big, warm hug. Maybe if we’re really lucky we’ll be able to see dolphins. I can’t wait to show you, baby.” Cadence sighed and snuggled into her mother’s chest and Juliette pressed a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. She rarely thought fondly of Alabama but she realized she wanted Cadence’s first visit to the ocean to be where she’d first seen it. She didn’t have a childhood home or two loving grandparents and an extended family to share with her daughter but she had the Alabama coastline, Miss Carrie’s easy recipe for peanut butter cookies and so many songs she couldn’t wait to sing with her daughter.

She turned around again to walk back towards the other end of the room. “When you were growing in my belly I thought the worst thing in the world would be losing my voice,” Juliette confessed, remembering how impatient she’d been with her pregnancy. She’d been restless; not being able to work was a foreign concept that had been hard enough to deal with. Writing was one thing she could do, but she couldn’t sing more than a few words before losing her breath. More than once she found herself with her hands on her stomach, silently counting down the weeks until her daughter would be outside of her body and she’d be able to breathe again. To belt out the words she’d written in her notebook. “I didn’t have much of anything growing up, but I did have my voice and I thought if I lost that I’d lose myself. I was so wrong, baby girl. The worst thing was losing you and your daddy. I hate that I got sick and missed out on so much but I promise you, Cadence, from now on I’ll be right here. And when the time comes I’ll be honest with you about everything that happened. I promise you that no matter what, even if I never make another album or never sing on a stage again, Mama will always have a song for you.” Juliette shook her head and patted her daughter’s back lightly. “Monkey, did I put you to sleep with my rambling? Hmm?”

She paused in front of the windows, noting the hint of sunlight peeking through the curtains. _Almost morning already_. She turned away and immediately squeaked in surprise at the shadowy figure blocking the doorway. Juliette stumbled backwards and bumped into the wall, causing Cadence to startle in her arms. She thought for sure the baby would wake up, but she only whimpered before settling down and resting her head back on her mother’s shoulder. Juliette blinked twice before recognizing Avery’s father as he stepped into the room.

Carl extended his arms towards her as he apologized. “Sorry. I was heading out to work. I didn’t think anyone was awake.”

She put a hand on her chest and tried to calm her heart, which was thundering beneath her palm like a racehorse. “You scared the hell out of me.” No sooner than the words left her mouth she cringed. Why was she always putting her foot in it with this man? But then he chuckled and Juliette’s eyebrows shot up on her forehead. That had not been the reaction she’d expected.

“I know. Didn’t mean to.” He leaned over, reaching for a table lamp on the side of the couch. After he twisted the light switch, she could see he was dressed in his uniform, a long-sleeved shirt under a pair of Carhartt overalls. “I heard her a while ago,” he said, nodding at the baby. “I thought she’d gone back to sleep.”

“No, she needed a little more convincing,” she said. “I brought her down here so she wouldn’t wake y’all.”

Carl slid his hands in his pockets. “Walking did the trick, huh?”

Juliette nodded, slowly rocking her hips back and forth. “Usually does.”

 “I can remember walking Avery across this room just like that. Seems like it’d be hours before he’d finally fall asleep.”

She nodded again as she stood near the window, still rocking Cadence slightly, until the silence just became too awkward. “I should probably get her back down.” She shifted her daughter on her shoulder as she started for the hallway. “You have a good day, Mr. Barkley,” she said as she walked past him. He called her name just as she reached the doorway and she turned around to face him.

“It’s Carl.”

“Uh…” Juliette hoped her expression stayed neutral as she nodded yet another time. “Okay. Goodnight…or morning.” She made her way back upstairs and put the sleeping baby in the crib before climbing back in bed with Avery.

He’d rolled over to face the middle of the bed and when she lay down he slid an arm around her waist. “You’re back,” he muttered.

“Yeah.” She rested her hand on top of his. “Finally got her back to sleep.”

He tightened his arm, pulling her into the curve of his body. “Missed you.”

Juliette hummed in agreement as she relaxed against him. She thought about mentioning her conversation with his father but decided to wait until they were both fully awake. Her father-in-law, or ex-father-in-law, hadn’t said more than a handful of words to her the entire time she’d been married to his son. He certainly had never asked her to call him by his first name. She wasn’t sure what to make of that. Maybe he wanted to start over? She’d welcome that, even if they were only cordial for the sake of the baby. They’d probably never be best buddies but he did seem to be taking an interest in his granddaughter and for Cadence, Juliette would do anything. She’d pick up that olive branch - if that’s what it was.

* * *

 

When she woke up Avery and Cadence were gone from the room. Juliette stretched, holding her arms above her head and pointing her toes towards the window. She felt rested, much more so than she had the day before when her daughter had gotten up early and they’d gone out to see the snow. Despite waking up to deal with Cadence in the middle of the night, she felt better than she had in weeks. Her life had been a whirlwind since she’d gotten out of treatment, with the tour, the Oscar nom, Avery and Layla - not to mention the emergency landing. It felt good to wake up and have absolutely nothing on her plate. She groaned. Except that magazine interview she had yet to make a decision about.

A large part of her wanted to just decline and be done with it, but she hesitated to do that. The post-partum depression had very nearly destroyed her life and if sharing her experience could help someone else, maybe it’d be worth it. Or maybe it’d just make her more vulnerable to her critics. She bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth. At this point it was hard to tell.

Avery knocked on the door a second before opening it. “Hey, baby.” He sat on the edge of the bed and waited until she sat up before handing her a glass of orange juice. “I got your breakfast.”

She took the plate he offered, trading him for the glass of juice she’d just taken a sip from. “Thank you.” She bit into a piece of bacon.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Great actually. And any morning you bring me breakfast in bed is a good one.” She picked up the fork and stabbed at her eggs. “What have you been up to this…morning? Afternoon? I don’t even know what time it is.”

“Still morning, but late. Figured I’d let you sleep in since you got up with the baby last night.” He took a piece of bacon for himself. “She’s downstairs putting those baby gates to the test. Mom was keeping her occupied so I could make a couple calls. Scarlett and Will called yesterday to check in and I wanted to get back to them.” He paused to drink some orange juice. “And Rayna called.”

Juliette set the fork down on the plate. “What’d she say?”

“She asked about you - wanted to know how you were doing. I told her you’d just wanted some time away and she understood that.”

“But what about the album?” Her appetite disappeared as she asked the question and she set the plate on the blanket next to her. She was thankful for Rayna’s concern, but she hoped Avery’s refusal to complete Layla’s album hadn’t jeopardized his job with Highway 65.

“Apparently there is no album,” he said, shaking his head. He finished the glass of orange juice and set the glass on the nightstand. “Rayna had already talked to Luke and Glenn - and you know how protective he can be. She said she couldn’t have someone with that little integrity on her label. So Layla’s been dropped from Highway 65.”

Juliette pulled her legs up and crossed her arms over her knees. “You won’t believe it but there’s a part of me that feels bad for her.” Anger flashed across his face and she attempted an explanation. “I know,” she said, putting on hand on his arm. “What she did to us was horrible. I realize that. But now she’s lost everything and I know what that feels like.”

Avery turned away before responding. “I know what that feels like too. And I know what it’s like to be the one who caused all the damage. Will just told me Layla had sabotaged Scarlett back when they first signed with Edgehill and I already asked her about Charlie Wentworth and she didn’t deny calling the press.” He glanced at her. “She’s been at this for a while now, Juliette. Maybe starting over won’t be such a bad thing. She can’t manipulate her way through life.”

Juliette sighed and wiggled her toes against the blanket. Of course he was right. “Speaking of a fresh start, I ran into your dad this morning.” She told him about the conversation she’d had with Carl hours before. “I was thinking maybe…” She ended the sentence with a shrug.

“What, that maybe his heart grew three sizes or something?” His smirk matched the sarcasm of his words. “Maybe. Hopefully. He needs to come around. You’re not going anywhere.”

He met her eyes as he said it and she stared back into his baby blues as a smile came to her face. She reached over to cup his cheek, smoothing her thumb over his beard. “I sure ain’t.” 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Winding down to the end. I'm not gonna say how many more chapters because I always end up writing more! Kind of amazed at how I'll be stuck with 500 pitiful words and then next thing I know I'll have thousands (this chapter is unexpectedly lengthy). Anyway, enjoy! Reviews welcome.

* * *

 

Avery realized he was fighting a losing battle.  Since they’d arrived at his parents’ he’d found it increasingly difficult to keep his hands to himself. He wanted Juliette - needed to connect with her in a way they hadn’t in months. And even though he kept reminding himself that it was probably too soon for that level of intimacy and that just days ago he’d been with someone else and not too long before that she’d been with someone else, that hadn’t stopped him from touching her every chance he could. Make up sex didn’t solve anything. Avery knew that; they’d fallen into that trap before. The sex, as good as it had been, hadn’t magically dissolved their issues. Their problems were still there, large as life, when his heart rate slowed to normal.

He’d thought about all of that in bed that morning. It was hard not to think about it as he lay squeezed between her and the wall. His childhood bed was small and the wall was rock solid and cold as ice, but Juliette was all softness and warmth.  When she’d come back to the room with the baby he’d wrapped his arm around her when she got in bed, sleepily latching on just as he had during their marriage. He’d held her as they slept and woke up with his fingers on the smooth stretch of skin just under her shirt. He kissed her shoulder before backing away, reluctantly pushing himself towards the wall before his hands wandered even further.

_It had to be different this time_ , he thought. Avery ached for the woman lying next to him but he didn’t want them to fall back into old patterns. Not communicating was one of their biggest hurdles and it had been a recurring issue long before her post-partum. _But we_ are _talking_. The thought threw his mind into conflict again and he lay flat on his back to stare at the ceiling. They’d done nothing but talk since they’d arrived in Ohio. They’d been honest with each other about their feelings, maybe more so than they ever had been before. He knew she’d been uncomfortable talking about her post-partum depression but she’d told him how it felt anyway. If only they’d had that conversation months before, maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so bad for them. Avery sighed. They had to move forward. Carefully. _Slow and steady_ , he thought, understanding that the connection he wanted was probably weeks away - at best. Until then, he’d be patient and enjoy the relationship as it was.

Cadence whimpered and kicked the side of the crib as she woke up. Her father was thankful for the distraction and tossed the covers aside so he could see about her.

“Morning, Sleepyhead. How’s my girl this morning?”

The baby clung to his neck as she blinked and looked around the room. Her eyes settled on her mother and she pointed. “Mama!” she said.

He shushed her, kissing her cheek as he whispered, “How ‘bout we let Mama get a little more sleep? You two were up late last night.” Avery turned to the crib, reaching for Cadence’s stuffed animal. He paused with his fingers on the hippo’s ears before he turned back around to stare at Juliette. She hadn’t so much as moved since he’d gotten out of bed and still lay on her side, her hair covering her face like a golden veil. “Daddy’s got an idea,” he said, handing the baby her toy. “Something nice we can do for Mama.”

* * *

Late in the afternoon they bundled Cadence up in her new purple snowsuit and took her outside so she could play in the snow. She sat in the front yard, eyes wide open as she watched the snowflakes slowly drifting from the sky.  All three of them made snow angels, though Juliette had to move their daughter’s arms to shape her angel’s wings. Avery built a tiny snowman, one that was just about Cadence’s height and she pulled up on it, standing with her mittens on his head as she laughed.  Juliette gave the snowman a face with two buttons and a baby carrot nose and set a hat on top of its head. Their daughter took one look at it and screamed, falling to her knees to crawl away in the deep snow as fast as she could in the bulky snowsuit.

“Oh, no,” Juliette said.

Avery couldn’t help chuckling as he caught the baby and picked her up. “It’s okay, Princess.”

“Look,” Juliette grabbed the carrot and threw it towards the street. “No more snowman. You’re okay.” She giggled as she stood up and walked towards them. “My poor baby.” She took off her gloves and wiped the baby’s tears. “Your daddy won’t let him get you, baby girl. He’ll kick that snowman’s head across the street before he lets it hurt you.”

“You want me to kill it?” he said, laughing. “Bad enough you ripped his nose off his face.”

“It scared her.” Juliette held her arms out for the baby, kissing her forehead as she settled on her hip.

“Babe, I can’t decapitate everything that scares her.”

“Obviously not.” Juliette gave him a look. “Guess that’s the end of our play time.” She started towards the house. “At least we got lots of pictures.”

“Yeah, we did.” He followed a few steps behind her, looking through the pictures he’d taken on his phone. Already he had a favorite. They’d sat in the snow, Juliette holding Cadence on her lap as she leaned back against his chest, the undecorated snowman a blur in the background. They were all smiling as he held the phone above them - even Cadence showed off all four of her teeth in a sweet grin. It was the perfect picture of his family.

After they got back inside and shed their coats Avery showed them to his mother. She stopped cooking, pausing over a bowl with her fingertips dusted with flour as she watched him go through the shots they’d taken. “Now that’s cute,” she said when she saw Cadence standing next to the snowman. “Send them to me so I can put a few on Facebook.”

He raised one eyebrow. “Of Cadence, you mean?”

“Well, of course,” his mother dredged a chicken wing through the flour. “I wouldn’t post anything unless you said it was okay. Especially not of Juliette.”

“It’s okay, Sandra,” Juliette said as she walked into the kitchen with Cadence. “Not right now while we’re here though. I wouldn’t want to bring paparazzi to your front porch but after we leave you can post whatever you want. You should be able to share pics of your granddaughter.” She edged closer to the counter, jiggling the baby on her hip as she stepped in front of him. “Is that what we’re having for dinner?”

“Fried chicken,” Sandra answered with a nod. “Why? Uh-oh. Do you not eat fried foods?”

“Yeah, right. This Southern belle?” Avery chuckled as she bumped his side. “That’s one of her favorites.”

“Oh, good.” Sandra winked at her. “I’d hate to have made something you didn’t eat.”

“Don’t you worry about that. I’ll give that chicken a good home.” Juliette lifted the baby in the air. “Somebody’s mama is gonna have to work out extra hard when she gets home.”

* * *

His father usually worked overtime on Fridays so he missed eating dinner with them. By the time Carl made it home they were all in the living room. Avery had pulled out his guitar for Cadence and he and his mother sat on the couch. He was in the middle of “Here Comes the Sun” when his father walked in. Juliette sat on the floor, holding Cadence upright as the baby held on to her shoulder. She peeked around her mother, grinning when she saw her grandfather in the doorway. She waved, then bent her knees so she could crawl towards him.

“Let’s see if you’ll walk for grandpa.” Juliette picked Cadence up and held her hands. “You can do it, baby girl.”

Avery watched as his daughter took a wobbly step towards his father but as soon as Juliette let go of her hands, she fell to the ground and started crawling.

“Aww,” his mother said.

“She’s so close,” Juliette said, glancing at him.

His father picked the baby up from the floor. “How’s it going, Cadence?” She turned around in his arms, babbling as she pointed at the floor. “Yes, I see they’re trying to get you to walk. Do you think they realize that once you start walking, it won’t be long ‘til you’re running?” He chucked her under her chin. “They’ll be chasing you all over before long.” He crouched and stood the baby on her feet. “Maybe you’ll walk to your mama and daddy over there.” Again, Cadence took one shaky step while holding on to his hand before falling to her knees.

“Carl, come closer,” his mother said. “She might actually do it if it’s only a few steps.”

His father picked the baby up and stepped into the room and Avery set the guitar to the side. “Come on, Cadence,” he encouraged his daughter.

Juliette moved until she was sitting between his legs. “Come here, Monkey.”

His father hunkered down again and Avery remembered his phone but his mother took it out of his hand after he pulled it out of his pocket.

“Let me do the filming. You don’t want to watch her first steps through that screen.”

“Thanks, Mom.”  He leaned forward, resting one elbow on his knee and putting his other hand on Juliette’s shoulder. She looked up at him and smiled before turning her attention back to their daughter.  

“Just one foot in front of the other,” she said.

Cadence tipped her head back and looked up at her grandfather. He smiled down at her and lifted her to her feet. “All right, Miss Barkley. You’ve got everybody waiting. Let’s show them what you can do.” The baby gripped his hands and Carl waited a moment before pulling one hand away. She wobbled a bit but regained her balance on the hardwood floor. “One step now.” Avery’s father moved and Cadence took a step, following his hand forward. Then he slipped his other hand away and she was standing all by herself.

She was rocky and Avery held his breath, half of him expecting his daughter to lower herself to the floor again as she had before.

Juliette opened her arms. “Come to Mama, baby girl.” Cadence swayed a little as she reached for her mother’s fingers. She slowly lifted one foot and took one, _two_ steps before she started to fall. Juliette caught her, squealing as she lifted their daughter into a hug. “You did it! You took two _big_ steps! I’m so proud of you!”

She stood, still heaping kisses and praise on the child before eventually passing their daughter to him. They all clapped for her and she joined in, thinking it was a game. Avery had handed the baby to his mother and turned around, immediately forgetting whatever he’d been about to say when he noticed Juliette was crying. 

“Aw, babe. I know.” He pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back with one hand. “She’s growing up so fast.”

“No, it’s not that.” She stepped back but held on to his forearms. “I didn’t think I’d get to see it.” She glanced up at him but lowered her eyes as she explained. “I was hoping I would but with everything going on with the tour and our schedule I was thinking maybe she’d start walking during your time with her and I’d miss that too. This is one big thing I didn’t want to miss.”

“You didn’t miss it, Juliette,” he said gently. “And Mom recorded it so you can watch those two steps over and over again.”

She gave him a half-smile as she wiped her eyes. “You’ve gotta send that to Glenn and Emily. They would love to see her finally walking.”

“Gunnar, Will and Scarlett too. Scarlett just asked me today if she was doing more than cruising.”

“Now she is.” She reached for Cadence’s hand but looked up at Avery’s father. “Thank you for guiding her, Carl,” she said. “That was really a special moment and I’m so happy you two got to see her first steps with us.”

“I wouldn’t have missed that for the world,” his mother said.

His father touched the top of Cadence’s head, smoothing his hand over her hair. “No need to thank me, Juliette.”

Avery silently watched the interaction between his ex-wife and his father. _Baby steps._

* * *

He was determined to get the baby back on a regular schedule and as she hadn’t been allowed to take a late nap, she was ready for bed right after her grandmother gave her a bath.

“Uh-oh.” Juliette pulled the bottle away from Cadence’s mouth as she yawned. “Too tired to make it through your milk?”

Avery sat on the floor near the open closet and he glanced up from the stack of records he’d found. “Don’t let her fool you. She’ll wake up wanting it in the middle of the night.”

“Well, it’s daddy’s turn to get up so…”

“Finish your bottle, Princess,” he said absently. “For my sake.” He turned an album over in his hands. “Haven’t heard this in years. I can’t believe these records have been sitting in this closet all this time. I’ve gotta take these back home.”

Juliette walked to the crib and lay Cadence down. “Speaking of home, I was thinking maybe we could leave Sunday.”

Avery sat up, watching as she leaned against the side of the crib. “Day after tomorrow or next Sunday?”

“This Sunday, baby. Your parents are taking her to visit your family tomorrow so we can’t leave then.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he noticed her biting the side of her lip. She was nervous. “Juliette, I thought you weren’t in a hurry to go. Not that I mind. I’m just wondering what changed your mind.”

“I think…” she hesitated, then blurted out the rest. “I think I want to do that article after all.”

“Okay,” he said warily. “That’s fine. Or is there something else I should know about it? I thought it was just about the PPD.”

She walked back to the bed and sat on the edge so she was facing him. “I don’t know how in-depth they want to go but I’m assuming they’re gonna ask about you. Us, I mean. What happened that led up to our divorce. I don’t know what all else but I’m sure they’ll ask some more about Jeff.” She paused again, clasping her hands in her lap. “And Layla and Noah aren’t secrets. And now we’re here together…I don’t know how comfortable you are with me talking about all that.”

He pushed the stack of albums away, and shifted his legs so he was sitting cross-legged. “What made you decide to do the article? It seemed like you weren’t that interested when you told me about it. I kinda thought you’d turn it down.”

“I’ve been thinking about that conversation we had. We had no clue what PPD was when we were expecting her and we both wondered if things would have been different if we’d known. If I do this article someone out there might read it and at least they’d know more than we did.” She sighed, rubbing her face with one hand. “I know you think Juliette Barnes the superstar will make it through this but I’m not too sure. And if she doesn’t, this is how I want her to go out. With honesty. I have post-partum depression and it sucks. That’s the reality. But maybe my story can reach someone else and if even one woman realizes she needs help before it’s too late then it’s worth it no matter what anybody else says.”

Avery was quiet as he considered what she’d said. Whatever she said to _O Magazine_ would basically be written in stone. Their family and friends would read it, Cadence might read it one day if she chose. The _world_ would read it and judge her, as they always had. He knew she’d considered all of that and still made the decision to go ahead. “I think you should be as honest as you want to be,” he finally spoke. “I’m not gonna tell you what to say or what not to say but at this point, what don’t people already know about us? Like you said, our divorce is public knowledge. So is Jeff. And Layla and Noah. The only thing they don’t know is about you being here with me now. And I have no problem with you telling the world that we’re back together. That should be the title of the whole damn article as far as I’m concerned.”

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to suggest that,” she said, rolling her eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still winding down...lol. A huge thank you to those that are still sticking with this story. It's been a long road in more ways than one. I'm still aiming for completion before the season starts (hope that doesn't jinx me as it usually does). Reviews welcome!

* * *

 

Juliette had been sorry to tell her former in-laws she and Avery were planning to head back to Nashville the next day. Avery broke the news after breakfast, right before his parents left with Cadence. She had circled a mug with her hands, momentarily warming her fingers with the heat from the coffee before she moved to put her hand on Sandra’s forearm, thanking the older woman for her gracious hospitality. She knew if it was left up to her ex’s mother, they’d be staying for a while longer but Juliette wanted to be home when she did the article for _O Magazine_. Sandra didn’t bother trying to hide her disappointment and Juliette reminded her that she and her husband were more than welcome to visit any time they wanted.

“Come down for her birthday party next month,” she’d offered. “You should be there.”

Sandra had glanced at her husband before turning back around to nod at both she and Avery, her smile wiping away the sadness that had been on her face.

They left soon after, leaving Avery and Juliette to clean up from the morning meal. He washed and she dried, taking the slippery dishes from his hands to wipe them with a towel before putting them away. They weren’t talking about anything particularly important – Avery was saying he wanted to get on the road early, when it struck her that it was the most domestic thing she’d done in a long time, probably since before she left to join Luke’s tour. She’d taken all that for granted when they were together, all the seemingly mundane things that made up her marriage. Yes, she was famous and there was that half of it, the paparazzi and interviews and tours and everything that came with her career. But there was also the other, more private part of their relationship. When it was just her and her man, watching a movie or writing songs or cleaning up after he’d cooked a meal. She hadn’t realized how special those small moments had been until it was all over. She’d missed being at his side.

Avery’s arm brushed hers and he held up a soapy hand and waved it in front of her. “Hey, you still here with me?”

“Sorry.” Juliette shook her head and forced a laugh. “You’re right about leaving early. Maybe we should wash Cadence’s clothes and get packed up? She’s got a ton of dirty bibs.”

He agreed, and they threw a load in the washer and after finishing up in the kitchen they settled in his room. Juliette folded the dry clothes while Avery rummaged through the box of albums he’d pulled from the closet the night before, deciding which ones to haul back to Tennessee and which ones to leave. Juliette teased him about the growing keep pile. “Soon it’s just gonna be you and a car full of records. No room for me or Cadence.”

“You tease but the inspiration for your next album could be right here.” He tapped the stack of records.

“Or maybe your album,” she said. “Maybe we could write some when we get home?” She reached in the laundry basket and grabbed a small pair of jeans, still warm from the dryer.

He looked up at her from where he was sitting on the floor. “A song for me?”

She shrugged, suddenly unsure about the suggestion. Maybe he didn’t want to write with her – or worse, didn’t think she’d be any good at writing his kind of music. “Only if you want to.” His swift grin caught her off guard.

“Yeah, if you’re up for it.”

“I’m not touring so I’ve got the time. Glenn suggested using this time off to write anyway.”

“You have anything in mind?” He asked.

“Not really. I’d like to take my time with this one and figure things out. It’d be fun to work on some of that – what’d you call it? Cerebral alt country?”

Avery shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he winced. “I should have never told you about that. Deacon looked at me like I had an antler growing out of my head.” He pushed the near empty box of rejects back in the bottom of the closet before standing up and dusting his hands off. “I want you to meet my band.”

It was her turn to grin. “I’d love to meet them.” She set a folded bib on the bedspread. “You think Cadence will be okay with your parents all day?” It wasn’t the first time that morning that she’d asked.

“She’ll be fine,” he said patiently. “They left near her naptime and they only had a 90-minute drive. Mom would call if something was wrong.”

“I know.” She sighed. “I’m sorry if I’m annoying you.”

“You’re not,” he said. “You’re just being a mom and worrying about our baby. I’m happy to see that.” He didn’t need to say anything about her PPD, they both knew how she’d been when she was sick.

Juliette picked up the last tiny sock in the basket. “Oops. We’re missing one.” She glanced around, checking the floor in case she’d dropped it. “Maybe it’s still in the dryer?”

“Could be. I’ll-” The doorbell chimed, interrupted his sentence. “I should get that.”

He left the room, jogging down the creaky stairs to answer the door. When he got back, Juliette was putting Cadence’s clothes in her bag. “I found the sock,” she said. She glanced at him, noticing the large flat envelope he held. “Your parents get something?”

“No, it’s for you.” He handed her the envelope.

“Me?” She frowned, looking at the overnight shipping label. “Glenn didn’t say he was sending me anything. Luke maybe?” She groaned. “What if he wants to drop me from the label?”

“Juliette, open if first before you start freaking out.”

She was already tearing it open before he finished his sentence. The paper slid into her hands and she scanned the official-looking document nervously, hoping it wasn’t bad news. It took a minute for the words to register. “This says…” She blinked and read the paper again, trying to make sure she wasn’t mistaken. “This says you rescinded the order terminating my rights to Cadence.” When she looked up, she could hardly see him through the tears in her eyes. “Is this real?” she whispered.

“It’s real, babe.” He reached out as he nodded, gently wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s real.”

“Avery!” She tossed the papers on the bed and threw her arms around his neck, squeezing tightly before stepping back. “But when did you…”

“I called my lawyer yesterday morning while you were still asleep. I was just hoping we’d get the paperwork before we left.” He wiped another tear with the pad of his thumb. “I know you think it was necessary but I regret doing that to you and Cadence. You’ve worked really hard to get better and I had to set that right.”

“Thank you.” Juliette didn’t have any other words to express the magnitude of her gratefulness. She met his eyes, once again thinking about how beautiful he was before pulling him in for a kiss. Avery was delicious, as always. Soft, hard and sweet, bristly where he hadn’t shaved. She loved his kisses, his tickly beard lighting a fire as it swept across her skin. He was the one to break it off, holding her by the waist even as he put a half step of distance between them.

“Baby,” he rested his forehead against hers. “I’m glad you’re happy but we shouldn’t…”

“Why?” She asked, completely confused. “Is it…because we’re here?”

“No, I – Juliette, I don’t care about that.” He let her go, backing up another half-step. “I just don’t want us to rush anything. We agreed to move slow and I don’t want–”

She cut him off, closing the gap in between them by cradling his face in her hands. “Please, Avery,” she said, kissing him softly. “Love me. Just love me.”

He cocked one eyebrow, groaning as his lips crashed into hers. He didn’t answer in words but he did as she asked, repeatedly and exhaustingly, until her bones were liquid and her voice was raspy from calling out his name.

* * *

Juliette scooted backwards, snuggling deeper into the warm curve of Avery’s body. This she had missed terribly, the solid weight of his thighs behind hers and the surety of his arm around her waist. He’d fallen asleep, his face half-buried in her hair. She didn’t begrudge him the nap, although she knew they’d have to get up soon. But for the moment she was content to lay in his arms and marvel over the way her life had changed. A week ago she’d been mostly miserable, unless she had her daughter. And now she was here with Avery, with Cadence. She had her daughter back, legally. He’d given her that because he believed in her. He’d always believed in her, steadfast even when she couldn’t see her way through.

The first time they’d made love after Cadence was born, she’d been embarrassed of the way pregnancy had changed her body, unsure of the faint scars now lining her stomach. She’d let an arm linger, trying to shield them from his eyes. But Avery knew her too well. “No,” he said, moving her arm. He’d lowered his head and kissed her right below her navel, pressing many slow kisses on skin that seemed more sensitive than ever. He’d thanked her, blessing her where she had carried their child. “You’re more beautiful to me now,” he’d said. “You gave me a gift no other woman will ever give me.”

That was just how he was. Juliette rolled over and brushed the hair from his face so she could kiss his forehead. “I love you,” she whispered.

Avery stirred at her touch, stretching his limbs and finally opening his eyes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said, giggling. “Did you enjoy that nap?”

He nodded and gave her a coy smile. “I needed it.”

“We have to get up.” She reminded him. “There are bibs all over the place.”

He lifted his head, looking over her body at the small items of clothing strewn on the floor. “How’d that happen?”

“I don’t know but you’re folding this time.” She watched as he shrugged and couldn’t help raising herself on an elbow to kiss him again.

“Thought we had to get up,” he said when they broke for air. He glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “We probably should. It’s almost 2:00.”

“I know.” But instead of pushing the covers away she moved closer to Avery, resting her head on his chest as he lay back against a pillow. “I remembered something else I never told you.”

“What’s that?” His voice rumbled above her head.

“When I found out we were having a girl I was so excited. After I peeked at the sonogram results I had Bo take me shopping, thinking I might get a pink blanket or her first little dress, but I saw this really adorable pair of red, sparkly shoes that reminded me of The Wizard of Oz and I just had to get them. They were so small and I kept thinking about how I had this teeny baby girl growing inside me.”

“I remember them,” he said. “I thought they were a gift from Mom. Didn’t you want her to wear them home from the hospital?”

“Yes. I did but her feet were so tiny when she was a newborn and they didn’t fit. I just put them away for later but then I got sick and…everything else happened.”

“And now she’s too big.”

“Well, now for sure. But that was just the first part of the story. Stop interrupting,” she said, lightly pinching his arm.

“Sorry. I thought we were having a conversation.”

“We are but just let me finish please.” She lifted her head, watching as he nodded and pretended to zip his mouth closed. “Okay,” she chuckled. “When I first got to the treatment center I wasn’t sure Emily and Dr. Kitley would have any luck convincing you to let Cadence visit me. I was so nervous that first day, waiting for Emily to bring her up there. Thinking I wasn’t ready. I wanted to see her more than anything but I was scared that those old feelings would come back and I wouldn’t be able to handle it.” She moved her eyes away from his, fighting the burn of tears. “But when I saw her in the carrier and she was happy and healthy…and she was wearing a white dress with red flowers and those little sparkly shoes. I felt like,” she paused, having a hard time finding the right words to describe how just seeing those shoes made her feel. “That was _my_ baby. My sweet little girl. I know it was complete coincidence and you had no idea what it meant to me but I felt just a little more confident after that.” She looked up at him. “Thank you for giving her back to me, Avery.”

“You’re welcome.” He shifted on the bed, moving so he was above her.

“Avery,” she said his name in between kisses. “If we’re still in bed when your parents get back you’re gonna be grounded.” She teased, but then gasped when he kissed her neck and nipped lightly at her skin. He knew exactly what to do to drive her crazy.

“Worth it.”


	19. Chapter 19

Eventually, they did make it out of bed. They managed to wash the sheets, finish packing and get dressed before Avery's parents returned. He told Juliette to bundle up in her winter gear - including his mother's boots - while he warmed up his SUV. She asked where they were going three times but he refused to say. "It'll ruin the surprise."

She asked again a few minutes later, pouting when he wouldn't answer. "I hate surprises."

"You don't actually." He turned the vehicle into a lot and parked. "All right. We're here."

Juliette narrowed her eyes as she looked through the windshield. "This is just a parking lot."

"We're at the park." He opened his door and cold air swirled inside the warm interior. "I'm taking you sledding since you've never been." He grinned and got out of the car, shutting the door just as she started to respond.

"Sle- Avery, wait." She met him at the trunk, her eyes growing wide when she saw the sled and the snow tube that he'd found in his parents' garage. "I don't know about this."

He handed her the snow tube and reached for the large sled. "It'll be fun. Come on." She followed him as they left the paved parking lot for an unofficial path through the snow that had been carved out by others before them. Their destination was just beyond the trees; a well-known local sledding hill that he'd been to many times while growing up. They cleared the trees and stopped, watching as other people coasted to the bottom on all manner of sleds, tubes and snowboards. There were a number of families there and screaming and laughter echoed through the valley. "Snow's fresh," he said, glancing back at her. "It'll be like flying."

She blanched at that. "Avery, isn't it dangerous? The last thing I need is to break my leg or something."

He dropped the sled and stepped over it so he could put his hands on either side of her face. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, Juliette. Promise. This'll just be one more Juliette Barnes adventure, okay?" She nodded and he kissed her forehead before retrieving the sled. He kept walking ahead of her, pointing to the middle of the hill. "I'll take you down the shallow side first." He smirked and then teased, "That's where all the little kids start out."

"Very funny," she said. A few seconds later he felt the splat of snowball hit his neck. Clumps of icy cold made it under the collar of his coat and he spun around to look at her incredulously. "Did you just…" She'd dropped the snow tube and shrugged with mock innocence, snow still clinging to the palms of her gloves. She squealed when he dropped the sled and ran after her, but it wasn't much of a chase this time. He caught her easily, wrapping his arms around her coat. Avery had her and he wasn't letting go.

* * *

The winter sun set not long after they started sledding and they finished their last runs in the dark, the park illuminated by only a few lights. By that time they'd worked their way to the steepest part of the hill, Juliette on his lap as they shared the snow tube, their legs dangling over the sides as they whizzed down the slick snow. He'd held her waist every time, anchoring her while she screamed. They held hands on the walks back up to the top of the hill and she'd laughed until her teeth chattered in the cold. When he noticed her shivering despite the bulk of her coat they packed it in, taking the same snow-packed trail back to the car.

"Stop." Juliette suddenly pulled on his hand and they stopped in a clearing of tall trees, a bright moon hanging overhead. "I didn't want to wait," she said.

Her words came out of the blue, surprising him and Avery blinked and waited for her to finish.

"Maybe we should have, considering our history but I needed you. You're the only man I've ever been with who has truly loved me.  _Me_ , with all my issues. Being here with you these last few days – in my wildest dreams I never thought this would happen. You've been my best friend, my lover and my husband and I want you back, Avery. I know we've got a ways to go still. I get that." She bit her lip, worrying it for a second. "Our relationship is so –  _you_  are so precious to me. I didn't want to wait to love you."

It was dim in the trees but Avery felt he could see her clearly. "I feel the same way, baby. I love you. I don't think you realize how much."

She smiled, lifted her head to laugh towards the sky. "Judging by the things you did to me this morning, I think I've got some idea."

* * *

His parents were home with the baby when he and Juliette made it back. Cadence was overjoyed to see them and they even got her to take a few more steps when she saw the two of them standing in the doorway to the living room. Juliette picked their daughter up to hug her and then passed her over to Avery. He lifted the baby over his head, entertaining her while his mother told them how much his extended family had enjoyed meeting her.

"She was good then?" Juliette asked. "And everything was okay?"

His mother got up from the couch. "She was an angel." She patted Juliette's shoulder as she walked past.

Juliette sniffed, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned. "Something smells  _really_  good. Is that…"

"Gumbo," his mother said with one last glance over her shoulder before she disappeared into the kitchen. "Avery said it's your favorite."

"Now you're spoiling her, Mom," he said, following Juliette into the kitchen. "She might not want to leave tomorrow."

"I wouldn't mind." She lifted the lid on a large silver pot and stirred, then offered the spoon to Juliette for a taste. "I've never made it before so I hope it's good."

He watched as Juliette put the spoon in her mouth, then closed her eyes for a moment. "Oh, wow," she said. "That is amazing."

"Really?" Avery couldn't help smiling as his mother's eyes lit up at the praise. She was an excellent cook and always had been but her usual fare was more Midwestern steak and potatoes than Southern creole.

"Sandra, I wouldn't lie to you about gumbo. It's excellent. You didn't have to go to all this trouble for me." She blinked hard and Avery knew she was trying not to cry.

"It's no trouble," his mother said, taking the spoon from her. "It's your last day here and I wanted to do something special for dinner. And you know Avery will eat just about anything." She winked at him.

"Thank you." She wrapped her arms around his mother, hugging her tightly before stepping back.

For the first time since they'd gotten to Ohio it was all five of them sitting down to eat at once. Everyone raved about the gumbo, even Cadence ate hers enthusiastically. Avery was surprised his father liked it so much, but he was glad to see his mother beaming when he got a second and then a third helping. They had his favorite for dessert, slices of the carrot cake his grandmother had sent back with his parents. The baby ate with two fingers, savoring her cake slowly just as he did.

His father surprised him again when he asked about his band and his music. Juliette chimed in and Avery realized his father was actually listening to them talk about his career with no judgement. It had never happened before; his father was usually dismissive about it, sometimes worse. They talked all through dessert, until there was nothing left but crumbs and empty coffee mugs.

"What time are you leaving in the morning?" His father asked.

"Early," Avery answered, using his fork to smash the last bits of his cake. "It's easier if she's still sleeping when we get on the road." He glanced at Juliette. "We should probably pack up the car tonight." She nodded and he thought she was about to say something but his father spoke up.

"I'll help you," he offered.

"Thanks, Dad."

Avery left Juliette and his mother to clean up and he went upstairs to get the bags. Juliette had moved everything she needed for the morning into her carry-on and they'd set an outfit aside for Cadence. He threw items aside for himself and brought the rest of the bags and the boxes of records downstairs so he and his father could load the SUV.

The temperature had dropped considerably and Avery once again wished he'd remembered a scarf. They quickly loaded the trunk of the car and were walking back to the house when he called his father's name.

The older man turned around and waited, hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched against the cold. "Yeah?"

"Thank you." Avery said. "I see the effort you're making with Juliette and with…me. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, son." He hesitated, both of them standing still on the driveway for a moment. "I want you to be happy, Avery. That's all I've ever wanted, even if you have trouble believing that. You've seemed happy these past few days."

"I am happy," he said, and even as the words fell from his lips he realized they were true. He'd spent so much time hoping for the smallest piece of joy over the past few months it was hard to believe how much had changed in just a few days. "I love her. She makes me happy."

His father nodded. "I'm glad she's better. For you and for Cadence." He turned to the side as if he was going to go in the house, but then stopped and looked back at Avery. "I'm glad you came. Your mother…we both enjoy spending time with our granddaughter. She's a sweetheart."

"Come to Nashville next month for her birthday," Avery extended the invitation again. "Don't just send Mom."

His father shrugged, then finally nodded before turning back to the house. "Let's go back in. Too damn cold out here," he said over his shoulder.

Avery glanced up at the starry sky before following his father's footsteps, praying this truce would last for a long, long time.

* * *

The next morning his parents got up before dawn to see them off. His mother packed up the rest of the gumbo for Juliette and packed up the rest of the cake for him. She knelt by Cadence's car seat and kissed her gently so the baby wouldn't wake up.

"I'm gonna miss you guys," she said, hugging Juliette first and then him.

"You'll see us again in a few weeks," he reminded her.

"Yes, we will." His mother smiled and looped a scarf around his neck. "I found this one in the mudroom. Take it please and ease my mind."

"Thanks, Mom." They hugged one more time and his kissed her cheek. "Love you."

He carried the baby to the car and buckled her in while Juliette brought out the last of the luggage, her carry-on and Cadence's diaper bag. He climbed in the driver's seat, waving to his parents once more before putting on his seatbelt.

"I can't believe she didn't wake up," Juliette said, glancing back at the baby.

"God, don't jinx it." He checked the rearview to look at their sleeping daughter. "I can't believe it either." He put a hand on the gear shift. "Do we have everything, babe?"

"I think so. And anyway, we've got what really matters," she said. "You, me and her." She leaned over the center console for a kiss and he twisted his body, cupping her cheek with his hand.

Cadence coughed and whined, kicking her legs against the car seat as she woke up. He nodded as he pulled away and Juliette sighed.

"Yep," she said.

"I told you not to jinx it." She opened the door and got out, then climbed in the back seat to deal with Cadence and when she put her seatbelt on, he shifted the car into reverse. "Now we're ready."

"Yes," Juliette shushed the baby, "We're on our way home, baby girl."

There it was, a sentence he hadn't heard in months and one he'd never take for granted again. Avery drove down the street, the three of them heading towards Nashville - heading towards home.


	20. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Best wishes for 2018 and S6! #HappyJavery

 

* * *

Juliette had abandoned her shoes, leaving the flip flops amongst their beach chairs and towels and Cadence's plastic bucket and shovel. The sand was pleasantly warm under her bare feet as she followed her daughter. Cadence had stopped toddling along the Alabama shoreline to point at the birds, the little sandpipers scurrying about, using their beaks to poke holes in the sand as they tried to find a meal. She grinned up at her mother, giggling as she took a few more steps and Juliette thought she might try to catch one of the birds again. Her daughter was a lot more surefooted than she had been when she first started walking a few months before but every now and then she'd take a tumble; most of the time she'd plop down on her bottom, her little pink swimming suit had sand all over the backside – but sometimes she'd trip and fall face forward and Juliette stayed close behind, making sure she was in arm's length in case that happened.

Cadence stopped again, this time pointing at a dog walking just ahead with a woman in a sundress. Juliette sat down, pulling her daughter on her lap so they could take it all in. The sky was painted the brightest of blues, cloudless and clear except for the gulls cawing loudly as they flew overhead. The toddler clapped at the waves rushing in and lapping at the beach. Juliette bent her head, sniffing the hair she'd twirled into a bun at the top of her daughter's head. She smelled like sweet sunshine, sloppy kisses and a whole lot like her daddy.

"My little Monkey, you smell so good." She turned the little girl around, kissing her cheeks and ticking her sides. Her daughter laughed, showing off the four new teeth that were coming in. Juliette had just straightened back up when she heard footsteps beside her.

"There you are." Avery blocked the sun, briefly casting them in shade before he sat next to her. "I was looking for you two," he said, kicking his sandals off as he stretched out his legs.

Juliette nodded her head, gesturing towards their daughter. "She wanted to explore. I didn't realize we'd walked so far."

"No worries." He shrugged. "I found my girls."

She smiled at his words and turned away from the wide stretch of water they were facing to look at him. He'd let his hair grow out a little and he'd pulled it into a bun that rivaled the size of Cadence's. Juliette thought she would hate it but she actually found it very sexy. Their daughter had been hesitant with her approval, frowning and staring until he'd grinned and called her princess. "I'm glad you found us. Your girls were missing you."

"I didn't mean to be gone that long." Cadence scooted off her mother's lap, reaching for Avery so she could sit in his. She leaned back on his chest and yawned, her eyes still on the birds darting across the beach. "Glenn called."

She gasped, her eyes opening wide. "Was he calling about Rayna? Did she like it?" Juliette had been pressuring Glenn for news about Avery's band for days before they left. Rayna had gotten their demo a few weeks ago and the first song was one she and Avery had written together.

Avery shook his head. "He was calling for you."

Juliette rolled her eyes. "I told him  _not_ to call while we're on vacation unless it's about the band."

"He said he texted first, which you might have known if you hadn't turned your phone off and left it in the room. He said you've been invited to speak at a PPD conference."

"What?"

He nodded. "You know the magazine article went over well and I guess they want to hear you talk about your experience."

She sat up and folded her legs in front of her. "Could you see me doing that? Talking to God knows how many people about this?"

Avery leveled her with a look she knew very well. "I could see you doing anything you set your mind to, baby. But you don't have to. You could leave it be with what you've already said."

Juliette chewed her lip, staring at the waves as she mulled it over. "I think I'd like to do it. But I'm not calling him until we leave."

"Fair enough," he said, glancing down at Cadence as she pointed again at the dog. "You see the dog, Princess?" He looked up at Juliette. "Oh, yeah. Glenn also said Rayna loved the demo, especially our song. She wants to sign us."

"Avery!" She hugged him tightly around his neck, kissing his cheek repeatedly until he laughed.

"Daddy's got great news." She told Cadence, picking the little girl up from his lap. "We've gotta celebrate."

He stood up, brushing the sand from the back of his shorts. "What do you have in mind?"

"I don't know…are sand angels a thing?" He raised one eyebrow at her and shook his head. "Well, come on. I'm sure we'll think of something." They started back towards their chairs and she adjusted the baby on her hip as they walked. "Did you ever think we'd get here?"

"I promised I'd get you to the beach sooner or later."

She bumped his arm. "Not the beach, Avery. Did you ever think  _we_  would get here?"

"Honestly, no. For a long time I didn't. But I'm so thankful we did, babe. There's no one else I want to make snow angels with."

"Me either," she said. They linked hands as they walked side by side, leaving a trail of footprints in the sand.


End file.
